Bloomington Progress, Volume 18, Number 10, Bloomington, Monroe County, 7 May 1884 — Page 1

JiEPlLICAK PROGRKSS.

XSTABUBHED A. D. :

fUBLISHED EVERY WEDNESDAY

BLOOM I NGTO M, INDIANA.

AMfaatiMs Qtflo.- "PrograM -Boot,"

A. Republican Paper Devoted to tlie Advancement 'of the Local Interests of Monroe Oonntfr.

Established A. D., 1835.

BLOOMINGTON, INDIANA, WEDNESDAY, MAY 7, 1884:

Kew Series. VOL.XVIIL NO. 10.

REPUBLICAN PROGRESS.

A VALUABLE ADVERTISIR8

Orculatea Among the Beet Famars fcr Maa Gouty,

And la Headtoy Every Metpbe of Efcch Family. . , 1 1 lib iWdil JfatfcfeM Mttwwwrt A.

THE OLDEST fJUEKD. ST IXJUIBK CK5DEB MOU1.TOJJ. Oh. TJt bit- Idnl 'tia many a year since we

Took hands together; sad came through the

When thou anl Day sad I were newly bora And fair the future looked, and glad and fine, A year as long as whole eternity. And foil o( roses with no stmgrag thorn, And fnll of Joys that could not 1m outworn; And time was measureless or thee and me. Lena bare we fated together, thou and 1:

Thon hast frown dearer, as old friends most

Small wonder it I dread to say good-by "When onr long pact is oyer, and I x To eater strange, new worlds beyond the sty With Death, thy rival, to whom none saith "No" . Harper Magculne.

c i

Precious Poll BT ALMA Z. M'KEE. CHAPTER I.

"There, just so; a little more to ibe

right, perhaps. It does seem as though.

vnaa wmuow auorua me more Baasiac-

tban, as regards light and sun, than either of the others. Do sit down now, Mehitable, it' makes me nervous to see you on your feet so much. " "Oh. auntie." in a soft, sweet voice,

"dent worry about me. I am doing

nicely, I assure you. But I'm afraid you are not nearly so well to-day, are yon? You look paler than usual. "Jfo, niece. I am not quite as well today as yesterday; for, do you know, I worry so much about your future. Here we are eating up our small income, inch by mob, and when that is gone we must

of necessity starve. That servant is

not worth her salt, I fear I shall be -obliged to discharge her; and Marion is so thoughtless. What need has she a poor girl wasting her money and 'time in such foolishness as drawing and painting: and nonsense?" And Aunt

Cynthia Crowell looked the picture of

vexation. "Oh, auntie, I trust we are not quite ao destitute as that. Why, that gold pin of mine would sell for something, X dare say, if it should come to that extremity ; and, besides, there is a man ' round paying quite a price for all species of birds for his museum, and I thought that that old parrot of yours, auntie " . "Mehitable Ryder! Do you dare to frtimate such a cruel utterly raon- . strong, proposal as tint to me? My ' darling Foil, that I ha ve had since my babyhood? That I hare taught to talk and wink and blink at me, and who shows more real affectionfor me, accordingly, than either of 'my nieces? Kol I shall keep her until she dies, and then have her staffed. I fear it will not be long until that occurs, for she seems to be drooping of late. Don't yon notice it, Mehitable?" A smothered laugh, followed by a 'forced cough from behind the heavy folds cf damask, screening one of the windows, drove the similar inclination from the lips of Hettie, as it sounded too derisive when proceeding from those of another; and, forcing the smile from her lips, sheeaid, abruptly: "Aunt Cynthia, this is a lovely day. May we not (that is, Marion and 2) give you a turn or iwo under the laurels, in your invalid chair? Please say yes, auntie." "Well, niece, I suppose I may as well submit at once, or stand the chance of being teased out of my senses. But make sure that you wrap me up good. Mc&on ! Marion ! where are you ? Put away those fol-de-iola, and come imme

diately to assist your cousin; you always was lazy. 1 shall leave my precious Poll to Mehitable; see if I don't," aha muttered under her breath. Marion appeared in an incredibly short space of time, judgic that she was not visibly near before her aunt's call, and at once took up her station by the side of Hettie. "Are yon easy. Aunt Cynthia?" kindly inquired Hettie, as she was being propelled on the thick green grass. "Well, I shouldn't wonder," answered that eccentric individual, leaning back comfortably in her well-cushioned chair. "But, I say, who is that insolentlooking young-man staring inhere? I wonder if he ever saw me before, or is it you he's conferring so much honor on, Marion? I have half a mind to

aak him, the impudent fellow.

Oh. aunt, please, please, do not:

indeed, he is not impudent," exclaimed

r iiettio. coloring to the roots, of her ;ht golden curls, while mortification

:ed from her prettr blue eyes. "He

is admiring our fiower-beds; don't yon see that he is moving away sow?" "Yes, and it's high time he did, too; after making such big eyes at you, and scraping and bowing like a conceited monkey that he is. Why didn't yon eat him, Mehitable? What is he to you?" ! . "What is he tome, aunt? I love him, and have promised some time in the future to marry him !" exclaimed Hottie, her face now pole with apprehen-

I adviFed Gordon to leave all to me, as I, perhaps, might gain her consent best understanding her nature as I do." "I presume I ought to congratulate you, eoz; but the fact is, I think yon

of that sort, to marry a woman for the sake of her money. No, hum ! Wonders will never cease in this world. I wonder if my news had anything to do with his sudden illess. I wish I was

in his place, though, as regards M ss

are throwing yourself away! In fact, t Hettie; what a lucky dog he is. ' And

vou are too stood for such as he. I having arrived at his destination his

"indeed. r scornfully. "Well, niece, I must say, you have taken the reins into your own hands entirely, you and . 'he. Never come near the old woman to ask consent or leave, but isnored mv

advice altogether. Now, let me tell I

you piainiy; juenttaoie, you are not of

aire, as yet, and with my consent you U.

never marry that brazen dog! D'ye hear that?" and the irate old lady turned full round in her eluvr, that she

, might better view the effect of her

words. "And I may say, right here

that I do not admire your taste in the

least. And she laughed a hard, discordant

laugh as aha watched his retreating

figure, almost out of sight, "Had we not belter go in now, aunt?" asked Hettie, anxious to fly to her own chamber and solitude. . "Oil, yes; anything to be agreeable. I am sure I don't care! But it appears to me you tire of this beautiful landscape and bright sunshine remarkably soon to-day. However, let us go in I" They entered tho house and the invalid tooo, assisted Aunt Cynthia to "bed, then sat down, Hettie at some

lace work, Marion with her drawing

material. Very soon the armt, apparently, slept profoundly; at least aha snored "ht.iribly," as Marion termed it. "lea!" responded Marion, "I have a letter or two, to write." "What do you think pat aunt out so to-day?" asked Marion. "Oli, I'm sure I don't know; except it was that she heard jou snicker behind the curtain, aud deemed it nnkind. - But then she is sick, and that is reason enough. I daresay I should be no better iu her place." And tender-hearted Hettie flushed with sympathy for her queer old aunt. "Well, by the way, Het, I admire your piuck and candor exceedingly. How ever did you have courage to .acknowledge your acquaintance with that 'conceited monkey?'" asked Marion, toughing merrily. Hettie colored a little indignantly, as she answered: "J meant to have told aunt long ago.

always considered Gordon Lyle a perfect dude; and he has nothing to buy bread with, let alone a place of shelter and such comforts as you have always been accustomed to!" exclaimed Ma

rion, positively. "I did not suppose, for an instant, that you could look with favor upon any more than the one of the male sex!" exclaimed Hettie, somewhat sarcastically. "If Yal Merrivale is more than reputed wealthy, I shall be very much mistaken." Aud Hettie felt as though she had sent that arrow home. "Well, we will not quarrel, Het; but I like Algernon Sydney's little finger better than Gordon Eyfe's whole body, to use a familiar saying; and if love was not blind, as it is in your case, you would have said yes,' instead of 'no,' to him a month or two ago, when he laid his honest heart at your shrine." "You are getting more eloquent as you progress, fair cos; but I'm sorry it is all lost on mo. Every person in this civilized age has a right to his own opinion. I claim that privilege as mine, therefore, and yield up very willingly to you the marrying the bear for the sake of his den,'" laughingly responded Hettie. "I will visit you in your palace, and after that, if you are not too far above me, you may come to my hovel Now is not that fair?" "Yes, perfectly. And I shall not envy you your precious poll-parrot, either, I promise you. l'on may keep feathers and all," and the fun-loving Marion laughed as though she enjoyed the joke at her cousin's expense. "What do you mean, girls, by such hoy deniali proceedings ?" came in sharp, shrill tones from the curtained alcove. "Loop back this curtain, and drop forever those vile slang phrases. How many times have 1 cautioned you not to use them, and how will people think I have brought you up? No credit at all; no, none! You may leave the room, both of you, if you choose. The sun is declining, and I should like a short time alone, to think, ere you ring for lights." Marion, only too glad to be dismissed from her annt's vigilant eye, fled precipitately from the room, singing as she went, "Come, haste to the wedding," looking teasingly at her cousin's more leisurely gait, over her shoulder; and said, as they reached the hall below, "Come out on the balcony, Het, and we will watch the glorious sun decline, as aunt expresses it." And while the two cousins are thus employed, we will return again to the sick room, and learn the mind of Aunt Cynthia, if possible, as she sits, propped up with pillows, her old, withered hands fondling the plumage of her pet her parrot. "So it was Gordon Lyle ! How neatly I found out all about him! Cynthia Crowell, you were always called clever! And now to ascertain whether your niece or her prospects is the object of his visits.. Let me see! Yes, I have it; a brilliant idea, too. We'll see how it will work. Patience, Cynthia, you are worth two dead women yet." "Pollv wants a cracker," came in shrill but faint tones from the fast failing bird. "Poor Poll wants a crack err "And you shall have one, too, pet." CHAPTER n. fove flies out at the window When poverty comes in at the door. Seated in a fashionable restaurant, at (me of the many round tables, were twoyoong men. "Well, Algernon, what shall you order?" exclaimed the taller and more slender of the two, mopping the perspiration from his broad, white forehead. "Champagne, I think, in the line of drink." "Well, I guess IU have lemonade. It's deuced hot, and that will quench the thirst more, to my notion, than the best of wine. Whew! How uncomfortable I ieell" And Algernon Sydney leaned back in his chair, and certainly did look warm. "Any news up your way, Gordon?" "Well, no; not special. I was down last evening." "Indeed! I think I may guess where, without any trouble. I believe you're rather sweet in that quarter; and depend upon it, she's a treasure." "Yes, if that meddlesome old woman was not iu the way. By George, she's

a tartar!"

"I'm not much acquainted with tho aunt, but know the young ladies well. In fact, Lyle, if you desire to know, I think more of one of them than is really good for me, for it is not returned." "I presume that must be Miss Marion Grey. Well, she is a nice kind of a girl, but is actually dowerless." Sydney allowed him to believe as he would, and said: "That should make no difference to

me. It is the girl I want, not her money." "Yes, because you are well enough situated to support yourself without it? But if you was a poor dog like myself, for instance, you would be as anxious as I am, I wot, to marry an heiress!'' "Well, why don't you propose to an heiress, then, instead of the poor girl whom you have selected?" queried Algernon Sydney, contemptuously. "What do yon take me for, Lyle ? Do you not know that Hettie Byder is the prospective heir to all pf her aunt's vast possessions ? Hettie has more than once, unsuspectingly, told me as muoh, else would I have given her up long ago, to one more worthy of her than L "Do not deceive yourself, Gordon Lyle," his companion said, his lip curling with scorn. "I, myself, was there this morning, and Miss Crowell was mourning -over the loss of her pet parrot. 'Bat, after all,' she said, 'it is well, perhaps, poor Poll died first, as I shall now see that she is properly stuffed, and that her glass eyes are made to look natural, for she is the legacy that I am to leave my dear neice Mbnitable! All of the remainder shall go to Marion !" So, you see Why, what isthe matter, Lyle? Are you ill?" And sure enough, his teeth were chattering, his eyes glaring at his companion, as though he had gone suddenly dentlted, and his face was fairly livid. "Oh, nothing, Al; except the oppressive heat. Great Scott, but it's hot! I believe I'll make for my boarding house. Good-by, old fellow!" "Good-by, Lyle! take care of your- j self!" and the two friends so much un-1 likeparted. j "Well, of all things, that beats me!" j soliloquized Algernon Sydney, making his way leisurely toward his hotel. "I j did not suppose Gordon Lyle was one!

thoughts turned into another channel.

CHAPTER III. CONCLUSION. Three days after the opening of our story, so uncertain is the disease called consumption, Aunt Cynthia was taken much worse. She ordered her lawyer to be sent for without delay. And the parrot which sho had been vory particular about, and which was placed in the most conspicuous place in the room (perched on tho high mantel-shelf just in range with her own bed, where she could feast her eyes on it constantly), looked down from its lofty perch with those wonderful glass eyes, "which seemed to blink and wink," the old lady said, "with its accustomed affection at her." She bade her nieces good-by, lingering longest over the bowed head and fast falling tears of Hettie, whom she impulsively kissed, then said faintly: "You have been a good girl, niece, and I leave you all I have. But, Mehitable, grant me a dying request, will you?" "Oh, anything, auntie!" replied tho sobbing Hettie. "It will be harder than you think for, I fear, niece, so prepare. Promise me, on this, my death-bed, that you will never marry Gordon Lyle." "Oh, auntie, is it really necessary? Must I sacrifice my love ?" : "Enough, Mehitable! If you wish to see me die happy you will not hesitate. It is for your own good, beliovo me. Ho. is not worthy your pure lovo, and some day you may remember my words. I am go ing, niece! Be qu i ck, or it will betoo late "Oh, yes, auntie, I promise!" said the poor girl, chokingly; "only bless me before you leave me. The dying woman placed her hand on the bowed head of the weeping girl, and, in faint, quavering tones, said: "Bless you, my darling Mehitable! May God be good to " - Her breath grew fainter, and she was no more. The next day as Hettie and Marion were making some preparations for the funeral, a note was brought by the g)stboy for Miss Byder. Wonderiugly ettie opened it, read it, then, witii pale face and flashing eyes, mechanically handed it to Marion. "Bead that 1" she said. "Did I not road him aright? The wretch!" exclaimed Marion, angrily. "How dare he?" The note was from Gordon Lyle, and ran thus: Miss RroEit Mt Dear Hbttte: I scarcely know how to begin. I esteem you vory highly; nay, lovo you as a brother loves a sister, but fear I have innda a mistake in asking you to mnrry mo, under the circumstances. In fact, I euro for rovno ono else, and thought It the mora honora'ilo way to write you at onoe. 1 hope you will not mind this much, but. rather, think of me ss one no'- worthy of your true, loving- heart. Yours, regretfully, U on don hvt.a. "The faithless " "Stay, Marion. Perhaps, after all, I have been very fortunate to escape him. This note saves mo the trouble of

acquainting bimwith my promise to tho dead. How I dreaded it! It seemed so hard to give him up. But now, I do not know but my love for him may turn to contempt. That note is cruel, heartless in the extreme." The funeral over, the will was read, which bequeathed to Mehitable Byder Precious Poll, and the house and lot to Marion Gray, a few articles of wellworn clothing to her servant, and tho vast property was disposed of. A few days after the events recorded, the following conversation took place between Marion and Hettie Byder: "Poor aunt!" exclaimed Hettie. "I think I will remove my legacy to my room to-day, Marion! It will remind me so much of the giver. That is, if you will allow me to remain here with you, coz?" "You foolish girl to ask such a ridiculous question!" exclaimed Marion, while her eyes filled with tears. "Of course, this home is as much yours as mine; at least just as long as either, or both of us, remain single," said the noble girl. "But how am I to reaoh his perch ? I never was good at climbing ! A ring at the door ! Who can it be, May ?" "A gentleman to see Miss Byder!" annonncod the girl at the same moment. "Show him up, Jane; I will receive him in my boudoir," "Ah! Mr. SyA3y; glad to see youl" Hettie was hoard to say, in her clear, dulcet tone3. "As it is you, an old friend, would you think it presumptuous in me if I requested you to assist me a little." "Most certainly not. Miss Byder. Shall be only too glad to serve you." "Please step this way." "Ah, Miss Marion, you're as blooming as ever. I cam's in to help to cast away some of the recent gloom," if possible," ho said, real sympathy in his look and tone. "How lonely you two mnst be." "Yes, we have been since the death of our aunt," candidly avowed Marion. "We came up hero to search for a valuable gold pin which Hettie has had the misfortune to lose; and while here, she thought she would remove her bird to her own room, but cannot climb so high very well. The stopladder is here, and that was the request she was about to ask of you, Mr. Sydney." "I am at your command, Miss Byder," the young man gdlantly said, as ho moved the ladder from its resting place to a spot directly under the glasseyed parrot. "Has Gordon Lylo been here of late? I mot him to-day, and he looked extremely blue, I thought." "I think you will require some rest after you descend from that high pinnacle," Hettie said, as sho moved toward tho door. "Marion, I have left my duster down stairs, and will be back directly," and she walked quickly from the room, glad of any excuse to conceal tho emotion which the mention of Gordon Lyle had power to occasion. "Speaking about Gordon Lyle," said Marion, as the echo of Hettie's footsteps died away on tho stairs, "should you like to see a note he had tho audacity to send her tho very day that my aunt died? Well, here it is," producing a- delicately perfumed note. "You must have seen that there was more than common nffcolion between my cousin and him. They were to be married this coming fall, if aunt approved, and that is the first intimation sho had of his faithlessness." "The scoundrel!" ejaculated Algernon Sydney, angrily. "How dare " "Sh , Hettie is coming back I" ex-!

claimed JVia.iac, raising a warning finger. With a much lighter heart than he

had had for many a day, he sped up tho ladder, and soon had his bauds on j tho parrot. But, oh, horrible to re- ', late! In reaching to seizo alight, airy objoct, as he supposed, what was his I amazement to iind it leaden instead of ' feathery, and. beins? totally unprepared,

J it slipped from his grasp and fell, with

a loud crash, to the floor ! "Oh!" exclaimed the two young ladies, with clasped hands, while the gentleman began to apologize and call himself stupid, awkward, etc. Hettie stooped to pick up Precious Poll, when the stalling fell out in the form of puro solid gold. A year from that time a double wedding was performed in the little chapel near by, when two happy couplo were united Mr. and Mrs. Sydney and Mr. and Mrs. Merrivale. But Hettie Sydney cherishes Precious Poll.

Misleading Jioinpiiclnture. Tho way tho Australians have of calling things by inappropriate names is inconvenient. Their "bear" is no boar, their "whiting'' (fish) is no whiting, their "cherry" is no cherry, their "flying-fox" only a big bat. It used to be proverbially reported that "Australia is a place where tho ovsters grow on trees, the fences aro mado of mahogany, and cherries grow with their stones outside." There is no real mahogany in tho country, so far as I can learn, except it has been imported ; the socalled cherry is a kind of cv press, and the only truth about tho o. etcr is that about some harbor oysters covoring everything close to the water, including occasionally the roots and fallen trunks of trees. " (Miserable littlo bits of oysters, of which it would take a dozen to fill a tablespoon, ) Moro wonderful is the littlo "hand-fish," which climbs up on the beach sand, props itself on its fin-hands and looks at one pertly as a sparrow. The "Tasmanian devil" is a good deal of humbug, too. At Auckland I heard him described as fierce, untamable, dangerous; at Sydney (bis bones only are found in New South Wales) ho was fierce, but not often met with in Tasmania; at Melbourne he sank to an "ugly little beast;" in Tasmania it is discovered that the poor littlo nocturnal creature is rare and. timid. There is one creature of whose alleged habits I had heard with some skepticism the ground parrot of New Zealand. On inquiry I found the worst reports about it confirmed. This parrot builds its nest on tho ground, and, sinco the introduction of sheep, has boon building it chiefly of wool. To obtain this it perches on a sheep's back. For some time the worst that was feared from this parrot was such thefts of the golden tieeoe, but for some tears now it has taken to tearing through tho sheep's back and dragging out tho liver, which it devours. It has becomo a pest in New Zealand sinco this rapid evolution in English civilization. It is a large parrot, but I do not think it pretty ; its breast is tho color of iron rust. Cor. Philadelphia Times.

The Size of Texas. The distance from Dallas County, in the Texas Pan Handle, to Brownsville, at the mouth of the Bio Grande, is tOO miles, but we can better realize how far it is by saying that it is nearer from Dallas County, Texas, to St. Paul, Minn. ; or to Bismark, Dakota; or to Helena, Montana; or to Yellowstone Park, in Wyoming; or to Salt Lake City, Utah, than it is from Dallas County to Brownsville, Texas. It is also nearer from Brownsville to Guatemala, in Central Aniorica, than from Brownsville to Dallam County. Again, it is nearer from Lipscomb County, Texas to Kt. Louis, than from the same county to Galveston. And oven Chicago and Cincinnati aro nearer to Texas than Dallas Connty is to Brownsville. It is further from Tex-

urkttna to El Paso than from Tox-

arkona to West Virginia, Old Virginia,, or North Carolina. Suppose a gentleman should start from Savannah, Ga., on tho Atlantic, to look at a tract of land at El Paso. After traveling three days and nights ou a passenger train he might arrive at Orange, Texas. Of course when ho j uts his foot on Texas soil he would begin to look around to see how ho liked the country by way of deoiding whether ho would buy El Paso laud or not. But if told that ho was not half way from Savannah to El Paso, he might turn back discouraged, but such would be the fact. Again, Texas wants deep water at Galveston. But it is nearer from El Paso, Texas,' to the deep harbor of San Diego, Cal.,' than from El Paso to Galveston. In. fact, more than 1,000 miles of the! Pacific coast, extending from Los Angeles, Cal., to Mazatlan, Mexico, is nearer to El Paso than any part of the Texas Gulf coast. Greenville,' Texas, Banner.

LiTe The Tenacity of Women, It appears from the gathered statistics of the world that women have greater tenacity of life than men. Despite the intellectual and physical, strength of the latter, the softer sex endures longest, and will bear pain to which a strong man succumbs. Zymotic diseases are more fatal to moles, und more male children die than female. Deverga asserts that the proportion dying suddenly is about 100 women to 70 men; 1,080 men in the United States committed suicide to 285 women. Intemperance, apoplexy, gout, hydrocephalus, affections of the heart or liver, scrofula, paralysis, are far more fatal to males than females. Pulmonary consumption, on the other hand, is more deadly to the latter. Females in cities are more prone to consumption than in tho country. All old countries, not disturbed by emigration, have a majority of females in tho population. In royal families statistics show moro daughters than sous. Tho Hebrew women are especially longlived ; tho colored man exceptionally short-lived. The married stats is favorable to prolongation of lifo among women. Dr. Hough remarks that there (iro from i! to 0 per cent, niore males born t!i:ui females, yofc there is more than 0 pnr cent, excess of females in the living population. Fiom which statistics wo conclude tlmt all wi-meu who can possibly obtain ono of tlioso rapidly de. artiog men ought to marry, and that, as men aro likely to become so very scarce, they cannot besuiliciontly prized by tho other sex. Modern Age. A WelMufurniod Boston (iirl. "You should not have stayed away so long," sho f.ai 1 in ii y I ones' as hor theater escort sli.l into his seat ten minutes after tho ring-up of the second act. "Ou! Er excUiio mo Imetiny old

friend Tom in tho foyer, and "

"Was Jerry there, too? was her

She Was Disappointed. A crowd had gathered in front of t oew clock which had juit been unvo'deo aver the door of a largo jewelry store a.nd a tall, lank woman in a red ati:uvi and Hoo&ier hnt, with a lean, yellow dog at her heels, stopped to h.ok on. "Where's tho show?" sho asked of l mau next to hor, as sho looked up niid down tho avenue. "There," said ho, pointing to tho new clock. "Well, what is it?" What do thom Jiggers do?'' "They move automatically, " answered the man. "Which?" "Tho liguro on the left is Father Time," explained tlis man good-naturedly. "That on tho right is Vulcan. When tho hour strikes they como out and perform." "Sho! it's a performance, is it? Why didn't yo say so ? How soon does it begin?". . "As quick as tho clock strikes 12." Tho woman braced herself against a lamp-post, and tho yellow dog sat down and waited. Presently the clock strnck, and the figure of Time made a few moves and tho blacksmith pretended to rap his anvil. Then they subsided into their former stato of repose. "Well, I swan!" said the woman athe crdwd moved away, "if that ain't a lectio the wust p'formunce I ever see !" "Why, what did you expect ?" askod a bystander. "Expect! Why, I expected a show, of conrse. I 'spected old Time would Hop up and dance a jig and ring tiiem dinner bells, and play a chuno on that there instrument at his feat, and that the t'other one would sail in and give him one over tho left car, and a hull brass band would play Mail Coliunby, with varashuns, an' it would last 'n hour 'n' half anyhow. Ef it hadn't been a free show, I'd be madder 'n a we! hen. lvnra, Philaiidy, less go hum" and sho started off with hor noso in the ail, and tho yellow dog at her 'heels. Detroit Free Press. Coating for a Leaky Boor. Dr. Eedzie, of tho Michigan Agricultural Colli ga, says: "Some inquiring friends have been experimeutinfl; with coal-tar for 'revamping' old roofs that begin to leak and exteudiug their usefulness. Tho di:!icu!t.y, so far, is to find a cheap and effective 'dryer,' ns the tar does not 'set' between the shingles and in cracks, drips from eaves under a hot sun, and during rains washes to cisterns, injuring the water for stock. One coi respondent says: 'I don't think "body" in paint of tfiis sort and use is of any great account; saturating the shingles wiih the tar so as to be meairably impervici s to wa'cr, thus causing tlie water to run off readily iind leave tho roof dry, is tho idea. The material promising lest rosults in cuch a case is water-lime. It can be used combined with coal-tar as paint, or it can bi thoroughly dusted over the s irface after the coal-tar is applied. I think tho best results will be secured bp combining both uses as follows : Thin tho coal-tar by addil-g common benzine, one part of benzine to twelve of coil-tar, then stir in good water-lime (entirely freed from lumps by sifting) until you have the consistency of a strong paint, and paint this on the leaky roof, covering every part and filling all cracks. Apply at onco a good dusting of waterlime to this paint; d surface before it dries. The wat r-lime retards the running of the tar, forms a hard coating by the action of the water, and conceals the vory disagreeable odor of tho coaltar. Of couise, fire must be kept from this paint, lest the inflammable benzine should start a combustion difficult to control. Tho benzine reduces tho stickiness of tho tar, enables it to combine or mix more easily with the watorlime, makes it easier to spread on the shingles, and it soon evaporates", leaving a firm and even covering. Tho paint can be applied with a mop if it is moderately warm when applied. Chicago Times.

The Soudan. Soudan, or Sudan, or Soodan, as it is variously written, is a vast belt of territory which stretches nearly across Africa, mainly between the sixth end fifteenth parallels of north latitude, and south of tlie Great Desert; and from tho Nile provinces of Egypt on tho east to Senegambia on the west. The principal cities are Kano, Sokoto, Kuka, and Timbuctoo, which have become famous for their caravan trade to the Mediterranean coasts. The principal' exports aro gold, indigo, ivory, iron, skins, attar of roses, ostrich feathers, at d gum arabio. Its area is ostimated at 2,5 30,000 square miles, or about threo-fifths of that of the United States. But it is tho Egyptian Soudan with which readers are at present most familiar. The Soudan is a provinco of Egypt, distinguished from that whioh wo have been describing, and of which it is but a continuation eastward, by prefixing tho definite artichs the Soudan. "It comprises Kordofan, Nubia proper, Sennaor (or Senaar), Toka on the east, and somo Nile districts further south. Sir Samuel Baker estimates that the population is over 1,000,000. The products of the Soudan have hitherto found their way to Cairo chiefly by caravans, that have taken about four months to make the journey. The soil is fertilo, and much might bo expected from it under favorable conditions. Inter Ocean,

Old Clocks. The old brass clocks wont only thirty hours, and woro set in motion by "a weight attached to a chain which passed over a sheavo having spikes in tlie groove, which oarght in the links of the chain and required to bo drawn up every day. On tho introduction of the long pendulum, clocks seemod to have assumed a different, character. Catgut was substituted for the chain, and barrels were introduced on whioh the catgut was wound up, and a greater length of lino being employed, clocks were made to go for eight days instead of thirty hours, and a chime of bells playing every quarter of an hour ws often added; the weights and long pendulum: hung down, and, ns there was dunjrei of their action being interfered with, tall wooden cases woro mado to protect them. This was the origin of tho tall, upright clock cases, which were often made of ornamental woods and uriclied with lino marquetry. Ti.o earlier oases woro made of oak and walnut, the mahogany cases being of tho following century, when that word was introduced.

I a letter to Wtiatls and Forext (London), an "Old Forester" testifies to the wonderful ellicaov of creosote

oil in preserving wood. It effectually prevents all crowth of funa-us. etc.

artless interrupt ion, as sho turned her the timber ' must be thoroughly 'dry attention to the stage. Boston Pilot, bjjawybeing creosoted.

HUMOR.

A medical writer says that girls are so constructed that they cannot jump. Just make one of them an offer of marriage and see. A lady and gentleman accidentally touched each other's feet under the table. "Secret telegraphy," said he. "Communion of soles," said she. A readv-madk rejoinder: Ho "You made a fool of mo when I married you ma'am." She -"Lor-! you alwaya told me you were a self-made man !" Some ono interrogated little Georgie in regard to his sister's botrothed. "How old is -he?" "I don't know?" "Is he young?" "Yes he has no hair yet." A Baltimore man killed himself because his wife would not support him. It beats thunder how lazy some women aro getting to be nowadays. Newman Independent. "No, love," ho said, "I cannot afford to take you sleighing, but I'll do the next best tiling. Come down to the store any day and I'll let you see mo shoot a rat." A Newman man is trying to out-talk his mother-in-law. At last accounts tho young man had talked his head off, and'his left year was still working up and down. Xewman Independent. "now do you extract the cube root?" asked the school tenoher of the son of a dentist, who had been assisting his father. "Extract the cube root? Just trot out your cubic tooth, and PU extract the root in three shakes of a sheep's tail." Texas Sitinss. "I am choost as full ash a bag of flour," remarked an inebriate to a sober friond. "There is a difference between yon and a sack of flour, however." '"Whas ish difference?" "When a sack is full it can stand up, but when you are lull you can't even lie down on the ground "without holding on." Texas Siflings. Hostess (to gentleman her husband has 1 rought homo to dinner) How well you speak English, Mr. ." Mr. (not understanding) "Yes, I ought to." Hostess "But you speak it remarkably well." Mr. , I ought I have lived here all my life. In fact, I was born in New York." Hostess "Why, how strange! I am sure my husband told me you were a Bohemian." -New York Life. A medical journal states that tho average Chiueso baby weighs but five pounds. Tho journal did not state whether the Chinese baby's capacity for squalling was less, in proportion to weight, than that of any other baby, but if they howl in tho Chinese language a- loud as the American kid does in the United States language, how tho poor mother must suffer. If any one has evor board two Chinamen holding a convention in their native tongue, they can readily see that a child who is just learning to lisp a few syllables in the Chiuese. language would make Koine howl Peck's Hun. Mbs. MuLCAHy Good marnin. Mrs. O'Hollihan Good marnin', Mrs. Mulcaliy. Mrs. Muleahy An' how's the ould man, Mrs. O'Hollihan? Mrs. O'Hollihan Och, purtywell, thankee, Mrs. Mulcohy, but dtirunk agin last night though. Mrs. Mulcahy Och, dear, dear, the poor man! Mrs. O'Hollihan Did you hear the nows about the increase in Mrs. McCarthy's family, Mrs. Mulcahy? Mrs. Mulcahy Oi did not. Was it a bye or agurrul? Mrs. O'Hollihan 'Twaz navthor. Mrs. Mulcahy Nay ther ? Mrs. " O'Hollihan Nay ther, 'twuz twins. Mrs. Mulcahy Wull, wull, wull. San Francisco Post SECRET 60BB0W. tVhy does he wear It? Kmlilem of woe! For whom docs be bear it? Is some one laid low? Say, was It a mother That crossed th i deep sea? Ills mother that nursed him In youth on her kmt 'l Or was it a father Decrepit and old? Or a soldcn-hnired rosebud Helaiu in the mold? Perhaps 'twas a brother! In boyhood may be, They frolicked together. His brother and he. Or was it bis partner Who fell by his side? Now none to console him. No hrart to confide. Bay, why does he wear The black bani, O, for what? He wcai s It to cover The crease on his bat, 7Vra Si.f.iigs.

Taking Him at His Word. This anecdote of Bed Jacket was ; elated by Judge Sheldon at the meeting of tho committee of the Buffalo Historical Society : There was a blaoksmith shop on the corner where the postofflce now stands, kept by a man named Beese. He was a very fine workman, a real artist in his line. One day Bed Jacket came into tho shop with his interpreter ho would never speak English, you know. Ho wanted a now tomahawk made. They had somo talk, but Beese finally said he would mako the tomahawk for him, and told him to come in two weeks for it. When tho time was up, Bed Jacket came for his tomahawk. It was a fine piece of .workmanship, too. Ho went off, but in a day or two returned with tho tomahawk. It didn't suit him. . Of course, Beeso was mad, but he told Bed Jacket if ho would make a model out of maple wood of just such a tomahawk as ho wanted, ho would mako it for him. So Bed Jacket mado his model and brought it to Beese, who told him to como after it in a week. Bed Jacket came iu a woek, with his interpreter, as usual. Beeso had told several people aud several woro in the shop when Bed Jacket camo in. Beeso handed him the hatchet. Bed Jacket looked it all over, flung it across tho room, grunted "Ugh !" and went off mad as thunder. Ho had forgotten to make an eye iu his model, and Beose made tho hatchot without an eye. Buffalo Commercial. A Criticism ou Our County Fairs. "There are drawbacks to tho Yankee system. First, tho trotting matches, which, though new to ns and somewhat interesting, usurp tho foremost place, everything else being made snbs:diary to them, while they give tho genuine American an opportunity of indulging his besetting sin betting. In tho next place, tno wholo showground is rendered uncomfortable to tho bona tide farmer who comes to soo the stock and implements, by the ndmission within tho gates of all (ho merry-go-rounds, penny gaffs, and other enormities which at our shows aro wisely kopt outside. And, in tho third place, neither for stock nor implements is there a catalogue, properly so called, but in its place a meio premium list, containing tho show regul itions and a tabulated syllabus of the prizes offered." North British Agrkv-HwUl.

DREADFUL CALAMITY.

Another Cyclone, with Appalling Loss of Life and Property, Visits Ohio

The

Air Dark with Trees and the Bains of Houses and Barns.

Two-thirds of Jamestown and Portions of Other Thriving Towns Swept Away.

A dispatch from Jamestown, Green County, says: A terrible cyclone struck Jamestown about K o'clock 8unday evinlnir. Two-thirds of the town was completly ruined. Six persons wore killed, namely: Mies Stella Jones, aged 15, of l&eulapfa Sprints, Ky.'t'Mra. Ann Carpenter, letitla JenkinsiTlaughter of O. K. Jenkins; Miss Kate Boteler; Mr, Stewart, a colored woman; a son of James Faulis. Several wore badly wounded. Hundreds of people were turned out of their homes. No estimate of the damage is possible now. ANOTHER ACCOUNT. , It appears to have originated near Woodbine, a small town ten miles south of Dayton. Eye-witnessos describe it a appa'lin? in its fury. An authentic statement is that the oyolone was formed by the union of two light storm -clouds from south and northwest, which immediately asumod the form of a waterspout, rising and descending like waves of the sea, and destroying everything in Its way. M. E. JSost, of Dayton, wno was near enough to observe accurately, says that It was fully an eighth of amilo wide, and moved about over the country like an immense cloud of smoke, whilo everywhere in its path the air was dark with trees and ruins of houses. Forests were mowed down like weeds, and fences were destroyed for miles, and it is estimated that In this county alone at least twenty residenoes aro In ruins, to say nothing of the loss on other buildings, live stock, and farm property. At Alexandersville, six miles south of Dayton, several people aro known to bo injured, and one lady reported killod, while a sawmill, barns, and other buildings aro destroyed. Friend's paper-mill and other buildings aro badly damaged, while a number of residences are reported destroyed. The telegraph lines are down in all directions, and roads are impassable from the ruins that fill them. Near Woodbino the residences and other buildings belonging to Edward "Wheatly were destroyed with other property amounting In all to 52,000. Two farm hands are reported missing. Brick school house No. 9 is destroyed and the roof carried 500 yards. Mr. Harris' house and barn were destroyed. One child caught in the cyclone was carried 200 yards and dropped to the earth slightly injured. Mr. Mitchell's house and barn are partly ruined. Mr. Rldenour'a property Is badly damaged. Abner Harris' barn aud other buildings were destroyed. The names of other losers cannot be ascertained, but, considering the large number of houses destroyed, there must be heavy loss of life. In the neighborhood of Mlatnisburgthere Is heavy damage. At Bellbrook, Greene County, at least fifteen farm honsea are moro or less damaged, but the families generally esoaped by taking refuge In toe cellars. From Carrollton the cyclone took a direct easterly course, and its force was not in the least spent when it reached Jamestown, a thriving village of SOO inhabitants, which is reported entirely destroyed, with only a few buildings standing. Meager telegraph reports state that four people are vrnown to be killed, while twenty are mora of- less Injured. Among others, the residence of L. Wlckersham was lifted from Its foundation and carried quite a distance. Near Senla there was considerable destruction. The Soldiers and Sailors' Orphans' Home wts badly damaged. The barn, laundry, and other buildings were destroyed, while tbe hospital was unroofed. Miss Harvey, the matron, and Night-watchman Richardson wore injured, but no children were hurt. Between Jasper and Cedar Creek, on the Narrow-gauge Itoad, the damage is great to farm property, and at this point trains were unable to move on account of the wind, while others did not dare to pass over the Cedar Creek trestle during tho cyclone. In all directions, south and east of here, the soene of destruction donee description, Wholo forests were out down like weeds and trees and smaller buildings carried a long distance in the air. Dayton (Ohio) Telegram. A very dostruotive cyclone visltod this section on Sunday afternoon. In the neighborhood of Mlaraisburg, Carrolton, Franklin, Woodford, Rtdgeviile, Xenla, Jamestown, Washington Court House, and at other points the damage was appalling. Tho cyclone was ft ret observed In the vicinity of Carrolton and Woodford, where it seems to have begun. Ono reliable eye-witness says that he observed one oloud coming from the northwest and another from the south. At a point near Woodrord they moved Into a vase whirling eloud as light as smoke, which descended to the earth and rose in undulations like a whirlwind. From Woodford and Carrolton the oourse of the cyolone was easterly, and reports from Greene County show that the violence was not spent In tho cast when it reached that section. The town of Alexandria, six miles south of hero, is badly damaged, and one lady there Is thought to be killed. A'famlly took refuge In a shed, and one child was carried five hundred yards, but not badly injured. Sawmills, barns, and smaller buildings were destroyed, while further south the destruction to property was more genoral, and It is estimated that at least four hundred farm residenoes, to say nothing of out-buildlngs, are completely ruined. THE PRESEST TARIFF.

Official Stat)?tl of Its Operation. (Washington Telegram. Mr. Nimmo, Chief of tho Bureau of Statistics, has placed In tho biads of the Secretary of tho Treasury his report In regard to the operations of tho tariff act of March 3, 1883. It appears that the act caused a reduction of about 6 per cent. In the average ad valorem rate of duty on Imports. In detail the changes are as follows: Smear and Molasses Reduction, 9.31 per cent. Iron and Steal and Manufactures Thereof S.U per cent. Clothing Wool 9.88 per cent. Combing Wool 11.27 ir cent Carpet Wool 0.01 per cent. Manufactures of Wool 4 52 per cent. Manufactures of Cotton Increase, 1.M per cent. Munnf actures of Silk Reduction, 8.82 per oent. arthu and China Ware Increase, 1S.11 per oent. Glass and Glassware Increase, l.W per cent Spirits and Wines Increase, 18.28 per cent, and malt liquors a reduction of 59.01 per oent Tbe report, which Is a document of seventy-two pa?es, embraces a somewhat elaborate statcmont in regard to the changes in ad valorem rates caused by the tariff aot of March 3, 1883, and by tho fail in the Import prices of commoditios. It contains also a confiderablo amount of statistical and other information in regard to tho production of sugar, Iron, wool, manufactures of silk, and spirits, and wines in tho Vnitod States. Tho report treats with somo particularity of tho production in the Vnitod States of tho three great olasses of wool known to our tariff laws namely: cloihipg wool, combing wool, and carpet wool, and tho extent to which these three kinds of wool are used by tho manufacturers of worsted and woolen goods, bats, carpets, and otbor articles.

A Drunken Man's Fearful Fall. Cleveland Dispatch. John Brady, a teamster, while intoxicated, walked olf tho viaduct whilo tho drawbridge was swung aud fell Into tho rlvor beneath, a distance of moro than eighty feet Tbe body sunk out of sight, but was fished out of tho water by tho engineer In charge of tho bridco. Signs of life were plainly visible, and uo soonor had Brady boon placed on shore than ho gathered himself together and walked1 away. Tho fact thnt ho. was intoxicated doubtless saved bis lite. Ho was entirely uninjured, tbe bath failing even to sober him up.

SPLINTERS.

Timer-fourths of the officers in the German army wear corsets. Hkrbkrt Sfbmcbr has started for Australia, a long sea voyage being recommended for his health. Wiggins claims to have predicted the London earthquake, and he says there Will be

anotoer aoout jtay zu.

INDIANA STATE NEWS. , Nrw Albjutt is trying to raise funds for a publlo library. XvAitsvxtXB, on the basis of Its new city directory, claims a population of 4S.0W. The old settlers of Knox County and vicinity wiU give their twoUth annual rounkjn at Vlaosnnea on May 29. TWO HCSTDKIOAKD 8IXTT-IVB MMXABS been subscribed by citizens of Tlncannes Dor. securing a competent manager and a baseball nine. Hon. H. H. Mccormick, of Bartholomew County, has ree'gned his seat in the Legislature to accept a contract for building the lasane Asylum at Bvaosvttto. Cot. Jams TCIJ.IS, special agent for tho Government In Utah Territory, has decided not to return to that Territory, but will mako Lafayette bit home as heretofore. Tas Shelbyville Light Infantry, bavins; re oelved orders to go into camp during the week of Fourth of July, are forced to abandon their contemplated celebration oa that day. Charles Bbbhtok, 60 years of age, was shot and killed by his son Frank, in the htka

district The father oensured the

man for his wild mode of life, and was

for his pains. A New Albakt lady, who has been renting her elegant residenoe on Main street, recently got possession and moved in. She was compelled to pay f 125 plumber's hid before she could occupy It The time of the last liquor license at Lagrange has expired, and Lagrange Is now without a single saloon. The County Commissioners refused to renew any lioenses in town at their last term, owing to infoxmalitieg. Richard Pbkstok, the pickpocket known to fame as "Windy Dick," who is now eon. fined at Lafayette, considers himself one of the most expert thieves in the country. Ho claims to be able to make, without effort, $2,000 per month at the business. The large barn owned by Lewis Barngrover, on his farm near Fairland, was set on are about midnight and totally destroyed, with all Its contents, inoludlng two hotses, on cow, and considerable bay. Loss, 11,000; Insurance, 8200. Mb. CLAxaoBira wiixiamb, a wealthy farmer residing five miles northeast of Tay. lorsville, died after an illness of tea days, of lung fever. Deceased was one of the oldest citizens of Bartholomew Connty, and was respected by a wide circle of friends. While Sherman Day was going homo, bo was assaulted by two highwaymen, seven miles north of MontteeUo, and brutally beaten into insensibility by clubs. The thieves secured nothing, but left Day seriously hurt Eidek Johs L. Smith has brought suit to secure a one-fifth share in the property known as the Stockwoll Collegiate Institute, an Institution of learning located at Stock. well, Tippecanoe County. The property now belongs to De Pauw University. Hugh McGutrr, a boy living one mltesooth. of Nashville, was driving a yoke of cattle hitched to a log wagon, one evening recently, when they became scared going down-hlu, and ran away. The oxen knocked him down and the wagon ran Across Us breast, can sing his death In a few hours. The city schools 3t Frankfort celebrated Arbor day with Interesting ceremonies. Tress were planted to the memory of John 6. Whit tier, J. W. Riley, Gen. Lew Wallace, Miss L. M. Alcotr, of the living: and to tho memory of Alice and Phoebe ary, Longfellow, BiTsaA and other poets. ' After a lingering fitness of a few weeks, Mr. E. G. Bowman, aged elxty-sevon died at Madison, of heart disease and dropsy. Deceased went there in 1332, from Us native home In Hampshire County, Massachusetts, and had been In business ever since, until recently, when he began ailing. Toe family of Elijah Eskridge, comprising himself, wife, and daughter, residents of Washington, have been almost at the point of death from vegetable poison. They cookod the tops of a rhubarb plant as greens, and shortly after eating were seized with violent sickness, whioh prostrated tbem. - r. and Mrs. Eskridge are tn a fair way to recover, but the daughter is still very iu. The old, dilapidated graveyard located at Clarksville is fast ebbing away. In this yard the graves of Indians are numerous, and during the high water fully one-half of the graves were washed away, and portions of skulls, thigh bones, and femur strewn pro. misouously along the bank of the river greatly attract the attention of all who pass by thorn. Ms. W. C DePacw, of Now Albany, hag received, through the matt, from Indian, spoils, the check for SE03 drawn to the order of the New Altany Bail-Mnl Company stolen from tin residence of Mr. Albert Trinlor, of New Albany, on the night of the 25th of March, when his house was entered by burglars. The check. Inclosed in an envelope, was dropped into one of ike street letter-boxes at Indianapolis. The wife of a weU-knowsi citizen of Adams County gave birth to a child that had but one arm, that being the right one. On the left shoulder, where the arm should be, there is a perfectly developed head, the neck being also perfectly developed, bat where the head should be Is something that resemMos an arm minus tho band. AU other parts cf the body were perfectly devetopei.. Tho child died about three hours after birth. Tho parents were offered a large sum of money for the body, which they refused, and a close watch Is being kopt over the grave to prn -n t its being robbed. Near 13 o'clock at night Font T. Bines and wife, of Evansville, who tad Just retired, heard a knock at the door. Bines asked who ' was there, and received an answer that it

was a poor old traveler who wanted

matches. Bines replied he had no

for him, and ordered him to leave. Mr. Bine then arose and took out two pistols, giving ono to his wife. Ho went to ths front room. While there his wife arose and went into the kitchen. On going back to the bed-rofko Mr. Hin.es heard a noise in the kitchen, and open. Ing the door he saw the form of a parson, supposing It was their midnight visitor. He looked a second time to be positive, had, feeV tog certain it was a burglar, he flred, when Mrs. Htues threw up hor bands and exclaimed, "Oh, I'm shotl" A physician found her in a critical condition, bat thinks she wttl recover. Mas. Fosev, a colored woman living to. North Vincennes, Is the owner of a sow that recently gave birtb to a litter or pigs, pro ducing a freak of nature seldom seen among swine. Out of seven perfectly formed pigs was a monstrosity, or -Moublo pie," or "two of a kind," linked by the shoulder by a sous mass of flesh, whioh extends to tbe rear parts showing two pigs In one, a male and a t emale, bothwelI developed. From the middle of the body forward the union is complete, except from the top of the head to the tip of the nose. However, there are two perfect -eyes, the ears being united at the base. It has) eight logs and two dlEtinct appendages. There is but Ono undor-Jaw and an imperfect onto of heads, which are equally pro portioned osr by from above the eyes. -