Bloomington Progress, Volume 16, Number 28, Bloomington, Monroe County, 25 October 1882 — Page 1

Becorfet8 Office j58u

VSCLR GAHK AT THB CORM-SHVCKIKQ BT J. A. MAOOK, De stars ia shlrdn' out de sky do brtghtes' ebber wen; Ie shucks beitlne, decora bcto', de niggers In

De likely gala is he'pin' an' uotr shiny eyes a- . blinkur; j lie shucks in flyln' tibety an' de pile o corn Is swicldn'; SurinkiuR. j De weeds is (rfttto jewy we mas' posh de biz- j -v aissfas' ' ( Dar tittle jag behin' us jcs' a-waUin indc f (Pass. (You fetters step yma eotta tell v hoH-ciei rHisedechune, ' An' you better medjerort de cloud Jut's slidia' 'crossde moon!! Nowciar your th'oat au'liep me Je" sin? a song ort.ro: . H

We u start ont wid de "Johnson teals an see " whatvekindo. jouxspx o ui. (Song- by Uncle fiabe. all the eom-slutc&big company joiuiug in the chorus.) ,. Ob! tain't noma" tall like de Johnson gala. For dey bancs an dc eonntr ont! Folks on de Creek swine to look mighty sharp when ile Johnson sals come "bout; Dey libs In rtc quarters on de i'inttt' place. Right close to de en' o' dc lane; Dey'j sweet as a hole in de "busee-barl An nice as de.augar-canel

A Republican Paper Devoted to the Adanvooment of the Local Interests of Monroe Oormt.v.

Established A. D., 1SU5.

BLOOMINGTON, INDIANA, WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 25, 1882.

New Series. VOL. XVI NO. 28.

CBOBOS. Den, el'afrde track lor de Johnson gals! ' ? ' ' Johnson saislt ' Johnson gaUMf Oh! ctar de track for dp .lohzwou galst Johnson gala ta de gals tor null Oh! nigeer wnk hart! in de new kwhuv trao". An' he sit mighty tired in dc pliuitio'; Bnt he King jes same as a frog in de swampi When de ebenln' sun co t- slantin"; Ko matter el de plow-p'tnt lilt 'g in U rocka, An' de day rrit h M as it pi-aise

r utuw oc l'kiuc w soe ova tfwmn Raw ! . . .. T

Do Bnm-kiateg when de brizht lay breakhi'. An he- waif; tip de bushes ait aronn; Bnt he ain't na.lt sweet as de olJ whiyperwUt, Dat sins when de sun voce down!

De morkm' tell voo when to hitch np.de team,

AS ncpuiDnt aemggers to e noes; De wiipperwlll talk "bout de Jcbnuoaeia. sCansehe stagwhen de moon done resell Den far yon well. Miss Snsie, dearFa ym veil, Miss Janet I swine mt to see dat sweet bunch o' gala Dat iby,dcn'o'.de tenet Far yon well, my old trm- love, , lath" goTtfmetr stay! Ibeenoutkijgwiud!-Jo!rasigals,. An dey stole my heart away! (At this stage of the musical entertainment, TJncle Gahe was accidentally struck on the head jr an ear of corn, thrown from tl e hand of some one sitting behind him. The interruption called forth something nice the following parenthetical . observation in stalwart prose: Lookee "pre! what clnb-foot Tilynn Sn dat orn? Ton kin shock je" as well widont bn' in de baric dat way! Yettsettin' n tie wrong pace, 'way back dar, anyhow! l.yon piny wood 9 nlceers cant tell de top o' my head fnm d iili- o cloan corn, you better go home; an' ef yon ain't got 'nongh stienk to your arm to pitch a year o' corn ten foot, yon better lay down an' res awhile! Brer Ab, yon HT de nex' chnne; my head gone to yoonia same aa ahaunler-beenea' 1) 27i Cent-

JOt WE COVUD KKW. If we could know by the whis-per sz wind When to fold in our breast the passion flower, Jnst when we pass and leave belt nd The pertHhtng scent and the bUHsfnl hour. If we eotald know by the nimmnring tide Of the inland river that seeks the sea, Jnst when oar dearest hope has died, Jnst how it fell by the cypress tree. If we could note in the of birds Something of love who took his wing. Jnst when to speak the parting words, Just when to yield up the tendsrcst thing. If we could see in the early dawn. The shadow that flits by the oven door. And know that oor happy youth lad tone Never to sop nor rest with nsuorel - If we could know where to dig tie grav. Wherein to cofln our treasure seep. How many neadiess pangs we'd save, Bow many useless tears not weep. An. bat the trusting heart beats Mill, V.liatever the evil of our drea-ns may be; And the weary spirit waits until Tae fetters break and the wcl is free.

Lordship's station tronld not attempt to raise money on the family jewels unless every other expedient had failed. "Well?" exclaimed my Lord, impatiently, aa Mr. Martingale kept silence,

looking the picture of embarrassment, "The truth is, my Lord," said the jeweler, nervously, " that much as I should like to accommodate your Lordship I fear I cannot do so at the moraent. I am extremely sorry, but money is very tight jnst not, my Lord, and I - "Very well," interrupted Lord Tynedale, sharply; "don't make a fuss about K. man. I can easily got the money elsewhere. I will trouble yon to give tin the necklace. " "Give give yon the necklace,' my Lord?" repeated Mr. Martingale, ,l)laLiifiy... . "Yes; I had an offer of 10,000 for it a short time ago, and I think 1 shall sell it." "Bnt but, my Lord, it tres left here lobe cleaned. It is not ready yet," urged the jeweler, in desperation.

"Never mind. It did not want cleaning. That was a fad of my Lady's," returned Lord Tynedale, who seemed very much pnt ont at his request being refused, and evidently did not mean to be trifled with. Mr. Murtingale, who was the mildest of men, and stood very much in awe of Lord Tynedale, did not venture to say another word, but fumbled for the keys

of the strong room and disappeared to fetch the necklace. The truth was,

however, that he had resolved not to

part with it under any circumstances, and the errand was only a pretense to en.dile him to gain a few minntes for calm reflection. He felt that his only

chance of getting repaid by Lady Tynedale was to retain possession of the

necklace, and he therefore had to consider whether it would not be policy to advance the money his Lordship required. The offer of 10,000 whioh Lord Tynedale had spoken of was a fancy price, but the necklace wis worth more than the sum he had

asked upon it. After some hesitation ( tion. He added he was a Comptrolle?

about him irito the secret of my Lady's

cxtrnvaorftuce.

"I I naturally supposed that his Lordship was pressed for iuodoy," said

Mr. Martingale, looking very crestfallen.

"Of course; that is the result of the

nnlisiness-liko step his foolish pride prompted him to take, and so I shall tell him," said Mr. Or.aves. "Lord TyiM-dale's estate is entirely unencumbered and in spite of my Lady ho spends little more t)i.n half his income. "Then the necklaco will be redeemed of eour.se, said the jeweler, faiutly. "Immediately," returned the l-!wyer; "in f-ict, after settling with my Lndy's creditors, of whom yon wero the birirtw, I have a balance in hand, and no donit his Lordship can let me ltive a cheek for the remainder. You may rely upon gHitingyour money in the com ho of a dayort-.to. Good-day to you." London Truth An Anecdote of Lamb. Havdon, in his . autobiography and

journals, relates a droll story of a dinner which he gave in Ids painting-room to Wordsworth, Lamb, Keats and Richie, the traveler. Wordsworth was in fine cue. Lamb got exceedingly mirthful and exquisitely witty; and his fun, in the midst of Wordsworth's solemn intonations of oratory, was like the sarcasm and wit of the fool in the intervals of Lear's passion. Lamb soon got delightfully merry. "Now," said Lamb, "you old Lake poet, yon rasoallv poet, why do von call Voltaire dull V" The party all defended Wordsworth, and affirmed there was a state of mind when Voltaire could bo dull "Well," said Lamb, "here's Voltaire, the Messiah of the French nation, aud a very proper one, too !" It was delightful to see the good humor of Words worth in giving in to all these frolics. Iu the niomine of this most deh'irbt-

ful day, a gentleman, a perfect stranger, j

had called on JlayUoii. lie said he know his friends had an enthusiasm for

Wordsworth, and begged an introduc-

MY HDPS NECKLACE.

Mr. Martingale, the well-known j

jeweler of Bond street, vas nneasy in his mind. Is weak moment he had yje'ded to the earnest solicitations of Lady Tynedale, and hail advanced to Iter a oonsderable sum oS money npoa her diamond necklace. It was not that his conscience pricked him, for he held a large quantity of har Ladyship's jewelry in pawn, and confidently counted oft making a handsome profit ont of his numerous transactions with her. Bat, the necklace in question unfortunately did not really -belong to Lady Tynedale, being an heirloom in her nosband's family, and, consequently, notwithstanding its intrin-tie value, it was practically worthless as security. He pointed this out to her Ladyship, and explained that Lord Tynedale might insist upon the jewels being restored to hint should he hear of the matter. My Lady, however, was so confident of being able to redeem it in a few days and protested with such evident sincerity that she dared not part with any more of her own jewelry for fear of arousing her husjband'j, suspicions that Mr. Martingale, having a keen eye for business, advanced tlte money against bis own judgment and kept the neek-

Mr. Martingale returned to the shop

and said : "My Lrd, on second thought, I think" I can manage that little matter with the aid of a friend." . "Oh! very well, Mr. Martingilo," said his Lordship, in a tone of relief, having apparently been occupied with u p!e.:s.int recollections in the interval, "I don't want to go anvwhere else, aud T would rather not sell the necklace. Shall wo say the day after to-morrow, then? If yon Vill call upon me at my lioase at A o'clock I will sign whatever f- rm of receipt you may consider neces .ary in exchange for the money." "I shall be there, my Lord," said Mr. Martingale rushing forward and opening the shop door obsequiously, and his Lordship stepped into the street, little imagining what amauvias quart dheure bis visit had been to the jeweler. Mr. Martingale kept the appointment and parted with his money, taking the precaution to obtain Lord Tynedale's signature to a carefully-drawn legal document, giving him authority to dispose absolutely of the necklace unless the loan were repaid within a specified time. His Lordship's ready acquiescence in this stringent condition was no doubt due to the knowledge that his situation was desperate, and the jeweler felt certain that the necklace would never be redeemed. But if Lord Tynedale was in difficulties the prospect "of recovering anything from my Lady was v cry remote. However, on carefully reappraising the value of Lady Tynedale's jewelry which

he bad in pawn, Mr. martingale was re-

of Stamps, and often had corresponJence t.ith Wordsworth. Havdon

thought it a liberty, but at last consented; and when the party retired to tea they found the Comptroller. In introducing hint to Wordsworth, Haydon forgot to say who he was. After a little time the man of stamps looked down, looked up, and said to Wordsworth, "Don't you think, sir, 'Milton was a great genius?" Keat3 looked at Haydon, Wordsworth looked at the Comptroller. Lamb who was dozing by the fire, turned round and- said, "Pray, sir, did you say Milton was a great genius?1' "No, sir, I asked K!r. Wordsworth if he were notB "01," said Lamb, "then you are a silly fellow." "Charles, my dear "Chariest" said Wordsworth, but Lamb, perfectly innocent of the confusion he had created, was off again by the fire. After n awful pause the Comptroller asktd, "Don't you think Newton was a great genius?" Haydon could not stand it any longer. Keats put his head into books. Wordsworth seemed askiig himself, "Who is this?" Lamb got up, and taking the candle said, "Sir, will yon allow me to look at your phrer ological developemout?" He then turned his back upon the poor Comptroller and at every question chanted, "Diddle, diddle, dumplins. my sou John "Went to his bed with his breeches on." The man in office, finding Wordsworth did not know who he was, said, "I have had the honor of some correspondence with yon, Mr. Wordsworth." "With me, sir? 1 don't remember."

"Don't yon, sir? I am Comptroller of

Heved tofina that the differences be- j stampi" While thev were waiting for

Wordsworth s reply, Aiamb sang ont:

Bnt, as before mentioned, he felt very uneasy when he refl&td upon what he had done.' If Lady Tynedale should fail to redeem the necklace he would certainly lose his money, since he would not daae to realize his security. In addition to this disagreeable cont nse-'cv, it occurred to him that Lord Tynedale probably kept a strict watch upon the family jewels, knowing his info's passion for gambling, and if he discovered the destination of the heir- , loom his Lordship would be sure to make a scene. Under these circumstances, Mr. Martingalt- did not allow the day named by my Lady for redeeming the necklace to pass by without wiiuw' ner a polite tom ndsr, and, finding that his letter hed no effect he sereuvd up his couragj and wrote a secoml time, uaing language as firm and peremptory as he could command. While anxiously awaiting a reply to this corjunuojeation he wai startled at receiving a visit from Lord Tynedale, who strode into the sh rp one morning and confronted the embarrassed jeweler before he had time to compose himself, "Mr. Martingale,' he said, abruptly, "I understand from my Lady that st e has left her diamond necklace here to be cleaned.' " Yes, my Lord," faltered the jeweler, 'too much taken aback to consider his reply. ' "I was vexed when I heard of it."

said Lord Tynedale; 'for I did not like my L.idy parting w.th fie necklace without my knowledge. However, Mr. Martingale, att yon happen to have it in your possession at thai moment, I want yon to do me a favor. "Certainly, my Lorl. Proud, Pm sure," replied Mr. Martingale, with inward misgiving.?. "The fact is, I want yon to lend me some money npon it," said Lord Tynedale. "Yon know the value of thOe thing', so I thought might as well come to yon. I have an nnexpecteJ payment to make a debt of honor, to tell you the truth and I would rather not trouble my agent about the matter." "Quite so, my Lord; I understand perfectly," replied Mr. Mart'ngale, as briskly as possible. "How much might your Lordship re-rpire?' "Seven 'thousand poends, and I must -have it at once." Mr. Martingale started, and turned hot and cold by turns. He dared not tell the story of Lord Tynedale not caring to apply to his agent. A person in ma question to think of lending any more, especially as it now appeared that tm

Lordship was in the ha bit of contract-1 ing debts of honor as well as his wife. I

Lord Tynedale had the repntatjou of being a wealthy man, lmt his application for a loan was an unpleasant revelation. The jeweler was too much a man of the world to believe a word of Lord Tynedale that ho bad a!reudy a large sum upon th noMace; yet for that very reason it was quite out of the

tween the sum advanced to my Lord and

the price he might fairly expect to realize by selling the necklttce would more than cover the balance of her Ladyship's debt. If, therefore , he could prevail upon Lady Tynedale to pay him something on account, were it only a few hundred pounds,- he would have the consolation of feeling that he had been a gainer upon the whole transaction, a consummation whioh greatly commended itself to his acquisitive soul. After mature reflection Mr. Martingale wrote a diplomatic letter to Lady Tynedale, offering, if she would pay him a moderate sum in cash within a week, to keep the jewelry she had deposited with him in satisfaction of his claim against her. He explained his liberality by saying that he was at the moment pressed for ready money, and concluded by a threat so sue her Ladyship if these terms were not acceded to. He thought he was doing a clever stroke of business in making this offer and was, therefore, secretly delighted when Mr. Graves, Lord Tynedale's family solicitor, called upon him a few days afterward and said that her Ladyship had instructed him to settle her debt upon the terms mentioned. "It is undersiood, of course, Mr. Martingale, that the jewelry you are to keep does not include the diamond necklace,1' said Mr. Graves, producing his check book. "The truth is, my lady ought not to have parted with the necklace, for it belongs to her husband. That must be given up." Mr. Martingale bowed, but did not commit himself by a verbal reply, and the' lawyer unsuspiciously proceeded to write out a check, which he presently banded over in exehange for a receipt in full discharge. "And now, Mr. Martingale," said Mr. Graves, "I must ask you to hand me the necklace. Here is her Ladyship's written authority." "I am afraid I cannot part with it," answered the jeweler, with secret exultation. "The fact is, I hold it as security for a loan to Lord Tynedale." " A" loan to Lord Tynedale?" repeated the lawyer in surprise. "Yes; 7,000," replied Mr. Martingale. "So that is how he got the money 1" exclaimed Mr. Graves, slappin-j; his knee and giving a grin, which the jeweler did not quite like. "What a very singular coincidence! I must tell you, sir, that when you first wrote to her Ladyship pressing for payment she was so frightened by the tone of your letter that f he went to her husband and confessed that she owed a large sum of money, altogether 7,000. Lord Tynedale is the most punctilious and honorable of gentlemen, and, though ho wo dreadfully 'dtgusted, lie handed her the money without asking questions, on the understanding that she should v'sti no me to settle with her creditors. I could not imagine where he had raised so large a sum at such short notice, for I knew he had not applied to his bankers nor to his agents. Evidently he preferred to get the money in an underhand way through you to letting those

"'Hov. diddle, diddle.

'The cat and the fiddle.' Do let us have another look at the gentleman's organs." Keats and Hayelon hurried Lamb into the painting-i'ooni. They went Imck. The Comptroller was at first irreconcileable; they soothed him, they asked him to supper. He stayed, though his dignity was sorely affected. However, beiug a good-natured man, they parted in good humor, and no ill effects followed.

Indian and Parisian Nabobs. . Albert Wolff, in the Figaro, says that all popular conceptions of Indian nabobs are simply absurd, and that any Indian nabob would . .on be "flat broke" in Paris, should ho ampt to live in high stylo there. Indeed, perhaps, the most extravagant dream ever invented by Theophile Gautier, was Fortnnio that novelette in which we find an Indian nalxb realizing the luxury of the Arabian Nights in Paris. Albert Wolff says: "Where an Indian nabob would giv his wife a mother-of-pearl bracelet worth fifteen francs, the Parisian nanol gives his dear pet, a house worth between 200,000 and 800,000 francs. Ii India a pretty little woman nourisheherself with poetry; it is enough to eal: her 'Star of Heaven,' or, 'My sweet lit tie white elephant,' to make her so eontent that she wjll not think of anking for anything more. Suppose, however, that a beautiful girl with lauguiKhing eyes, says to a rel nabob: "My own darling, it would he so nice of yon to set me uj in house-keeping,' then what does the nabob do? He commands twenty slaves, who earn on an average three sous a day, to plant four posts in the ground, unite each to the other with partition walls of palm bark, and sproael a few mats upon the floor. Then the little house is finished. If the Indian nabob lie extravagantly generous, he ma perhaps hang a birtl-eage to the ceiling which bird-cage represents the very craziuess of liberality. Sometimes the nabob may give a woman tliamonds of great value; hut then ho has ah. ays the right to take them back again when he gets tired of her. But when the Parisian beauty finds a nabob to set her up in the -"world, the firs out-lay represents 1,500,000 frnncx ('$800,000). Then the cost of a country home for the summer, 1,000 francs a day for domestic expenses, 50,000 francs a year for the dress-maker, 3,000 francs a month for the milliner, not to speak of other things."

Tkassi-ated from the Paris Omnibus: Guest, to the landlord "Mr. Landlord, the box with toothpicks stands again not upon the tablo." Landlord "Toothpicks there are with me no more." truest -"Why them not?" Landlord "Know you, in former times, then were the guests so cultured, and stuck the toothpicks, after the Use, again in the box. But tiowml iys takes every man one with hint. So much the business can't afford."

Oil THE TRAIL, Tlie Honed Avenger of the Monongntteln. "I didn't thing he'd go," said Mr. Sanderson, "though he acted queer for seone time." "What did he do ?" asked one of the part. "The first intimation wo had of it was finding stores secreted about the house," continued Mr. Sanderson. "He plugs vn the rat holes with lemons, and I'd fi-id salt stored away in my clean socks. I didn't pay much attention to it at first, lint when I found the piano full of checso, aud tried to play the "Maiden's Prayer' through a bushel of limberger and liarel tack, I remonstrated with him." "Did he say anything?" "Yeshodid. He hissed through his teeth. 'Beware the 15th of July !' But I didn't think anything of it. That afternoon we found him roastiug himself at the stake down in the cellar, and yelling, 'Back you cowardly fiends of redskins ; P. Sanderson never s ueals !' We put put him ont with sot. e water, and forgot all about it. Y u see I thought it was only a boyish f o It, like when he used to imapin" imwlf a whaler he harpooned th old a mdress once." "What was your first intimation that he was going to fight Indians?" "What originally excited my suspicion was seeing hint eat baked dog in the back yard. I thought there might be something wrong, and watched him, and saw him scalp the seat of ft haircloth chair. 'What are you doing?' I asked him. 'Get thee gone, pale father,' said he, Tm the Horned Avenger of the Monongahela! See me take to the bush with the scalp of my enemy,' and he crawled under the woodshed."

"Didn't you do anything?" i "Yes, took the chair in the house. I : thought there was no use in wasting it, i because the frame was good. But j what struck me as the strangest thing

was when I caught him saving the ser- '

vant girl, ile had her tied to the door . knob, and was crawling all around the j kitchen floor on his stomach, with a i carving knife in his month, watching his opportunity to out the bands. The : meat was burned to a crisp, the teakettie was boiling over and the vegetables ; were hanging over the side of the pot ; to see why somebody did not come and j take 'em out." i "Did he give any explanation ?" "Oh, no; nothing satisfactory. I un- i tied the servant girl, who was nearly I dead with fright, and he made a lunge j at me with the knife that nearly ham- j strung me. But I didn't take any no- j tiee until I heard him muttering: 'Be- j ware of me basalisk eye!' Then I j turned on him and demand an explana- j tion." I "Get it!" "No that was the strangest part of it. I He seized the girl and ran out in the j yawl and set tip a step-ladder to the top I of the fence. Then drew the ladder up and dropped it in the next yard. I had ! to go around aud get it before I could j take the girl down. I told him supper j was ready, Uut he waved his knife in the j air aud howled. The avengers in down- 1 ed but not beaten ! I am on your track j and you will find, that ere yonder sun shaH'crimson the death of to-morrow's tlay, that the pot wrestler of the pale ' face shall grace the wigwam of the j 'Pride of the Prairie.' I suppose that i was his other name. Thev generally j have two or three. I didn't say much, j What's the use? He ran along the ' fence and jumped into the alley. Then j he pointed a gun through a knot-hole ;

in the fence and snapped the lock at me until bed-time. That night I took a stick from under his pillow, with over two hundred notches on it. I guess thev represented the number of times he killed me through the fence."

"When did he go?" , "Thursday morning. He told some boys that he was going all the way by i water, because it saved walking, and I j think he must have got a row-boat some- i where. He's got a notice that the In- ! dians are somewhere in the vicinity of ! Albany, and I reckon I'll find him !

there. Oh ! he's on the trail, because he went to the grocer and scared him out of a string of onions, told him to 'put 'em up.thou slave of law, or by yon star the Avenger of the Monongahela will mount his trusty steed and follow thee to thy mountain fastness, will slay thee while thy faithless wife crawls on her knees, and thy beggared brats beseech thee for bread!" The grocer gave him the onions and I paid him yesterday. I'm going to police headquarters to see if anybody has seen a loose avenger around aelverlisiug for blood 1 So long." JBrooklju Eayle. Yellowstone Park. The Yellowstone Park embraces about 3,600 square miles, or rather more than the total areas of Bhode Island and Delaware together. It lies in three territories, the greater part being in Wyoming territory and the remainder partly in Montana and partly iu Idaho. It is all reserved from settlement for the purpose of a National park. It is one of the most wonderful regions of the globe, full of magnificent mountain, valley, and forest scenery. Mineral springs abound in every part of it, some of thorn in the form of geysers spouting water into the air in columns of from 35 to 250 feet or more, and emitting gas and steam with strange noises that echo among the wonderfully colored cliffs in all varieties of soundfrom that of faint musio to that of a cannon peal. It was feared that if this region was left open to settlement under the same laws as the rest of the public domain, its choicest portions would be selfishly appropriated by speculators, and theRts impressive exhibitions of nature's wonders would be shut in as private parks, accessible to the public oniy on payment of such fees as the owners might dictate. At the present rate of railroad construction this park will soon be accessible. It is now in charge of a superintendent, and a telegram received from Washington since the above was written says the Secretary of the Interior is about to sign a 'lease for ten years of a portion of this park to a company which proposes to build hotels, supply guides, transportation and telegraph facilities, at rates to be approved by the Secretary.

failed me this season. I never do have some sort of luck." A brisk, thriving farmer who stood by remarked: "Well, John, that's very strange, for wo haven't had such a good season for many a year. What kind of corn did you plant, p:.ay ?" "Wall," was tho reply, "I snpposo it is partly to bo accounted for by the fact that last spring I was so awfnl busy about other thugs that I lorgeit all about the corn until it was too late, and then I concluded not to plant it at all. A Prehistoric Monster. If I were to speak after the common fashion of the elephant as "a mammoth," of tho rhinoceros as a Titan, and the hippopo'amus as Behemoth, yon might fairly charge me with having forgotten that these animals, big as wo think them, are really, after all, only the pigmies of other species. But I have not forgotten it, for lieforo me lies a paragraph announcing the discovery in Siberia of one of those colossal animals which nature is very fond of dropping in. in a staccato way, just- to keep our prido down, and to remind- us, we creatures of a degenerate growth, what "winter" meant in the years gone by, and what kind of a person an inhabitant of the earth then was. He had to be very big, indeed, very strong and very warmly clael, to lie called the fittest in the glacial period, and to survive the fierce assaults of the palaeolithic cold. The rhinoceros, therefore exceeds by some cubits tho statute of "he modern beast, and id alio bv some tons heavier.

It appears that an affluent of tilt Tana river was making alterations iu its course, and in so doing out away its banks, revealing the imbedded presence of a truly Titanic pachyderm, which, for want ol a fitter tiame, has been tempnrarily called "a rhinoceros." But it is such a creature that if it wore to shew itself now in the swamps of Asaun or on the plains of Ceutral Africa, it would terrify off its path all the species of the present day, whether one-horned or

THE FAMILY DOCTOR.

A CurtK fob ConNS. Carbolio acid, one part ; distilled water, glycerine and soap liniment, each ten parts. Apply by means of a piece of cloth or lint, and cover it well with sheet-rubber, bo that no evaporation may take place. The corn may be soon detached, often on tho following morning. Inflamed and swelled bunions may be treated iu tho samo manner, but, in placo of tho above mixture, another should be applied, composed of dilute solution of mbiieetate of lead, to which may lie added, if desirable, some preparation of opium. Aiitixo Budding, Etc. The housekeepers if intelligent who make tho beds as soon as possible after they are vacated cannot establish a reasonable claim to neatness. Tho reason for this may be learned from the fact that, through perspiration, sensible and insensible, more th in ono-half of all foods and drinks pass off through tho about 7,000,000 pores of tho body! But this flow is not of dissolved food and drinks, but cousists of the waste and worn out putrid portions of the body, no longer useful, cast off as worse than useless, poisonous to the body if retained. Hence, the serious effects of a cold in tho production of disease this cold beiug another expression for closed poros, sometimes retaining from four to six pounds of etl'ete and diseased matter. This is, or should lie, constantly passing oil", but more rapidly while we are engaged in violent exercise and when warm in bed. A large amount relatively must pass off at night, an average of eight hours of unusual warmth. This

i poisonous matter is absorbed and re-

tamed by the clothing, m tuo meshes of the flannels m unwisely worn at night, when no clothing worn by day should be worn which may be reabsorbed by the vessels of the skin, there being two chtsse.4 in the surface, one to purify tho blood and the other to absorb moisture, etc. If this refuse and poison matter, ejected by one class as unfit for tho system, is returned by the other, absorbed

two horned, and make no more of an ' m? tne ciocmng, oi any ama, is nW;.tA .i.,nh.n w an nir,.i, i plain that this nec&ssary process ot

does of a goat-herd's hut that happens i elimination and purification is rendered to stand in the line of it advance. At I partially inoperabve. Oidmanly there ouo time the whole skeleton of the great ! 18 8 WMto of waste matter, the worndoad thing stood revealed to human ou &n& uselss remains of old particles eves, such an apocalvpse of mummy as ! of bone,s- m?cl' n7ve f tc; to

should nave liad some evancrelist lilte ' -"i r """.

Prof. Owen close at hand to t-maslate it to the world ; a vision of dry liones fit

for the prophet of South Kensington himself. Unfortunately, however, there is no large choice of professors in Siberia. They are wise beyond measure in Arestie suffering, and graduates in the miseries of cold, but they know very little about fossils. So the' stream that was cutting away its banks took tho old rhinoceros in its

aside from which fact our weight would vary much from day to dav. If, there-

' fore, most of our diseases result from I colds, closing in the poisons of the ever-

decaying body, it is evittent that the re? absorption of the same identical

poisons fiom our clothing must pro-

and similar reasons, it is desirable to allow the bed and other clothing to

for some time, as much exposed to

day's work, and cut the monster of die t.J'f? the sun-nature s grand

past away,

too. Its head was eventn- pnrific-r as possible. Such, put in the

ally rescued, and so was one foot, said to be at Irkutsk. Ex petle Htrctttem, This foot, if set down upon one of the rhinoceroses of modern ..-fimea, would have flatteneel it (fS smooth as the philosopher's tub rolled out' t':eso naughty

boys of (Jonnth who had ventured to tickle the cynic through the bung-hole

window, or on chairs near the window.

I exposed to sun-light and breeze, for at

least foiuMiours, will become reosonably purified, 'this exposure being equal, in one particular, to a washing. There ii the same necessity for the night clothing to "air" for the day, so arranged as to admit of tho action of light. These

his eating by wholesale. A little later a lizard will cool himself under the shade of his upper jaw. Then a few frogs will . hop tip to catch the mosqnhoes. Then more mosquitoes and gnats will light on the frogs. Finally a whole village of insects and reptiles, settle tlown for an afternoon picnic. Then all at once there is an eirthquako. Tho big jaw falls, the alligator blinks one eye, gulps down the whole menagerie, and. open his great front door again for more. Sunny South. ADont, sew Clowes. , There is something almost regenerating about new clothes. They possess a moral influence whioh oven the missionary who carries them to the heathen has not) overlooked, however pur suaded he may be that we overdo the matter. What man in his new spring suit ever refused his wife a favor? When he had on his old things, and felt down at the mouth and shabby enough, he could doubtless do it without a qualm ; but let him onco get insido of his new breeches, and all the complaisance in his nature comes to the surface. Even Pat feels himself hedged in his Snntlay clothes, and li.nitcd as to drinks, and if he is going to give Biddy a black eye, lie will do it in his old duds. And Biddy herself, though she may be sour enough about her work in her tattered calico, and ready at bandying billingsgate, no sooner dons her smart new delaine than a ladylike behavior heeins to be endued therewith. We love consistency, an 1 there is something inharmonious to our minds between new clothes and bad manners, and we would ioin remodel our speech and actions to correspond with our attire. Not that old clothes necessitate incivility. We will find many a gentleman and woman inside them. Bnt when the rude and untutored body puts on her best, a vague, unformulated idea possesses her that the old ways are not in unison with the new things, and Mrs. Grundy will perceive at a glance that she is only a cook unless she simulates the becring of the mistress as well as the cut and fashion of her garments. But evn among tho very elect, whoso manneiT, need no reformation, whose mind and temper are supposed, to be

above suspicion, new clothes are capable of ecousing some latent enthusiasm. The eiajitement of selecting and preparing new ones never grows stale or unprofitable, since every season brings into the market fabrics and fashions so quaint and picturesque that one does not feed as if she were indulging in the commonplace recreation of clothing herself and fostering vanity, but as though she were cultivating her ajsthet-

I to taske, enlarging the borders ot I though g and appreciation, encouraging the arts and commerce, anil absolutely I doinct missionary work in her own way

in behtilf of herself and her neighbors; for is the eye not an avenue to the soul? In the meantime we will always meet th ose who have the audacity to find fat'ilt with new clothes, to whom new boots are an invention of the inquisition only second to the thumb screws, who never feel at home in the spring suit until its freshness has departed, to whom the ulster is a straight . i . i .i i i .-

-In-

with cf,,v- RrciViu . ...Va tin. ! thoughts have a special significance in jacket, the new bonnet a species of

hnce monster in question asserts its su- i theil' ttpp'ation to the sick-room. In martyrdom, who never become resigned

perioritv over existing species by being ! ta6 more acur) ,oms ot US63 IarR I to the discipline of new clothes,

clothed in long hair, a neece to guard it i.--" - v- ..... , against tho climate iu which it lived, ftlly ",iWS THIUC6 tho .' 7 18 m J

an I from which even, the tremendous I e"?p" J oonuiuouui urn panoply of the nineteenth century rhi- i cftort of nature to recuperate and noceros could not sufficiently protect I eiect H10 lhse: P"rlnS ,fevf , ... ,-,.,.. ti, .ia . ...n I example, the bedding ought to bo

-U - l vni - J.UUO) vva, " nwu i I . - . . .

hide aud colossal in physique, the Si

berian mammal not only lived, 'but lived happily, amid snowy glaciers that would have frozen the polar bear and made icicles of arctic foxes. .Harper's Weekiy.

I changed once in six hours, aired, and

returned to the bed daily washed. Nature demands purity, a purity unattainable in soiled clothes. Indeed, if the .sick could have more pure air, c'eauliness, by reasonable washes, more

! pure water, and less impure whisky, ' more quiet and refreshing sleep, and

less obtained by the stupefaction of opium, more sunlight, cheerfulness and less food when no appetite indicates eating why the doctors would have less business.

Wasn't In. The occupant of an office on Congress street west fixed matters one day this Meek in such shaoe that any caller had to run the gaunth t of a boy in the anteroam, and as he retired into hia den be

yond he said to the youth : Brother Clflruiier on Good Old Times.

"Now, young man, Look me in the De odder nite de ole man Salera

eye." ! tiis Brown drapptd ober to see me," be-

"Yes, sir. ! gan the old man as Pickles Smith go

"And remember what I say. through swallowing a teu-penny nail "Yes, sir." which ho wati holding iu his mouth to "If any person calls unel asks if I am cure the backache. " He sot down wid in, you must say you don't know. You a grunt, shoved out his feet wid a groan, w ill then ask their business. H they and remarked dat times had so changed say it is a financial matter you must j ,iat he didn't car' to lib anoder day. It come in here, stop a minute, and return J made me uarvous to h'ar him take on and say that I am out of town, to take un tell how modern folkses were dyin baths for my rheumatism." off modern houses 10 better dau cof"Yes, sir." Ins modem food a pizen to de system It was hardly an hour befoire a an' dat ninety-nine men out of "ebeiy stranger came up, and when askel his hundred war' liars, cheats an' thieves, business he replied : Almos' every tlav I h'ar some of vou "Well, I called on a little errand in- hikin' on 'lout "de good ole times when volving some money." nobodv died an' de front doali of ebery That was the cue for tho bov. Ho house stood open. You doan' know what retreated to the back room, winked at I Ver talkiu bout ! In elo good old times his employer, and returned to tho ante- a common house was 'bout an coinroom and rtportcxl : fortable as de common hog-pon. More "He has just left for the country on people had to ride ten miles fur a doca vacation." . j tor dan a less distance, ami wheo he ar- . "Then I'll leave a note," said the j ,'Vc he didn't know bran from broomman, and ho sat down ami wrote a few ; tu-ks. Anv sort ot a man who knew linos and took his depnrturo. When . Moses from Aaron was good nuft' for a he had been gone ten minute tho em- , m-eaeher. an' de man Avid de loudest

plover came out to read it. It read : voice an' do loudest bellow was. de bes'

"Called to pav von that t90, but you

were ont. Am off for Tennessee. See yon when I return in January. Tra-la!" It was the work Of only ten seconds

to fling on his hat and rsaeh the street; but it was too late. An hour's hard work, including a walk' to one of the dcrtots, failed to turn up the n? m who

lawyer. Women war' freckled an men went bar'fnted to church, an' de faddor who didn't bring up his sons wid a great doal of stern dignity an' blue beech gad

dianapolis Herald.

The Wealthiest Man in Mexico. From Nevo Laredo, on the Kio Grande, to tho Solado River the ride is devoid of interest, and during it the best thing to do is to recline comfortably in one of the airy coaches and sleep. Southwest of the Solado, a table-land some 3,500 feet high may be seen The sides are rocky and almost perpendicular, tlii! top level and covered here and there with forests of timber. The tableland, or mesa, as it is styled by the Mexicans, has a surface area, of 400,000 acres. It is owned by Patricio Milino, an Irishman married in a Mexican fam-

i ily, the wealthiest man in Mexico, worth,

1 am informed, something nivro than SlO.OOiJ.OOO. Miluio's mesa has a. reputation all over the country. A part of it is cultivated for corn, grapes, sugar cane and maguey, llilmo's residence li on tho summit a banc some stone Uruetrire, very large and ornamented by coraices and pillars imported from France awl the United States. The interior is like a palace, and so rich with gold and silver and precious stones that the eye is dazzled with tbeir splendor. Milnio is President of the bank of Mexico, an institution with power and privileges in this country as fToat as are the Bank of England's in Britain. His father-in-law, Santiago Vidnrri, was executed for supplying money to revolutionist!, and he himself rarrowly escaped a similar eleath, though he was connec ted in a monetary sense with the opposing forces. Since then brigands have captured him -several times, and compelled him to pay from $10 000 to $25,000 ransom. These advonturos taught him precaution, and he has turned tho mesa into a sort of citadel, accessible by only a narrow pt.th, obstructed by "an irot) gate 4 enormoHts propertied!. He has distdleriw and several factories, in which gocds are manufactured for his own use, on tho mesa, and intentls to retire to h mansion whenever another insurrection is imminent. It is said that when he came to Mexico he did not have a dollar,

cheated an' lied an' played hypocrite,

Patched With 808 Pieces. Mr. Arkell, Vice-President of the Saratoga & Mt. McGregor Railroad, though onlv 27 years old. has survived incredi

ble"" perils. Ho has 80ii pieces of flesh froi" as many other human beings graft-

mixed togeiier expected do boy to turn 1 ana ms siu. uimuoa ua out a pirate. father-in-law. AfoWro Loiter.

" In de good ole times men scoio an ; A Suggestion of Forestry.

It it said that in Wurteinburg, for about twelve years past, tho laud along the niilroael lines has bee;i pi u'exl in

who plant the

ners, protoct em-

1 m i itanrmAnru swain ii'iivniiiir ! n iiiiiifit'.

I shun m my mind dat lie am lazy an' ------- .

shiftless. De pusson who can't play his i F!w ..v..

had money to leave instead of a bill to j jjat de same as men do now, an' if de collect. The bfjy over shore was look- j women diilrt gad quite so often dey

infr vei'V mntth Crtst. dawn VesterelaV. : v.iou',-,.wl Hat: aa miinh Tin man whn .

rt.,o -u-,,11 i,vi ihat 'aomehmlv .:i... t .1 ri n. ,....' charge of foresters,

1,o,l ot him nplrnli ."..!. :.. i. A .1.-... .,- slODOH ttlld Spai'C COt

' ".. onv....(s i BHUV 111.1 Ul '.111, (.11 UU CTIU ( UllU OUOIJ- 1 - - '

ereo .tress.

i haiul wid do world of to-day am cither light in tie head, or wobbly in do knees. ' T fiinlAr ,lnH-irn t.i nilil did. d, nv' f.ilOA

I h'ar a member of dis club wishin' fur a return of de elays when only one fam'ly on n road ten miles long had an um-

Luck. j Bad luck depends very largely upon

tne amount 01 laziness which is paclced away in our system, and good luok consists greatly in what is called your grip of affairs. Some people have had bad luck beeau e their hands always slip when they take hold of anything, and others have good hick because they keep hold. ""All my crop of coin," said ouo of the formeu ilk sulkily, litis, somehow

el Tinon him. having been injured in brella to lend, air not one family outer

eight railroad aecitlents and r,akeu out sixteen could loud a cupful o' sugar for de-ad from a fire and explosion in a I widout srrapin' de bottom ol: do box, I mill owned by himself and Lis father. ' s'lall purceed to read him a leektnr dat Many others wero killed by all these j will slant his ears at an rugle of fo'yaccidents. and skillful treatment by soben degrees." , surgeons and a wonderful vitality alone j , , "7 .... .ii,.,. ,. mnM, save this voung man. In conseeiuence Hw Alligator Dinr. of tho injuries received his flesh had to ; An alligator's throat is am auimateel be renewed by grafting and patching j sewer. Everything which lodges in his flesh from 806 different persons. It I mouth goes down. He is a lazy elog, would seem that it least a portion of I and, instead of hunting for stmiething to the energy, enterprise and cheerfulness 1 eat, he lets his victims hunt for him. of eaoh of those v hose flesh he wears j That is, he lies with greit mouth open,

was injected i'ii Mr. Arkei: s system, j apparently dead, like the "possum.

He is 'ihe

Jounral.

Mark Taploy. Home I Soon a bug crawls into it, then a fly, I then several gnats and a colony of

mosquitoes. Tho alligator doesn t close his mouth yet. lie is waiting for a whole drove of things. He does

Kbv Wkst employs forty vessels in tho business of gathering Bpougea,

uaturaHy thick at the base, grow well in the dryest, poorest soils, are entirely hardy, and do not attain an unmauage!able size or height. CURIOUS AND SCIENTIFIC.

At the Oxford Univorsity observatory a survey is in progress of the relative brightness of all stara visible to tba naked eye in the northern hemisphere. The work thus far accomplished indicates that this part of the heavens contains about 500 stars brighter than, -ha fifth magnitude It is said that an arc of 93,009 sores has been planted with trees in Kansas, under the new law relating to agriculture. The cotton tree was lareely planted on account of its rapid growth', and 6(1,000 acres wero set with walnut trees. The expectation is that this will operate, in course of time, to relieve the climate of its extreme dryness. A. Messeb, of Berlin, claims to hart prepared the best furniture polish vx use. He dissolves thrije kilos of sheilao in from fifteen to twenty litres of aIcC" hol, mixes this with 100 grams of grm cotton dissolved in m many grams of high-grade sulphuric e-ther, to which ho adds fifty grams of camphor and enough 90 per cent, alcohol to dissolve the mass. This polish is finely rubbed up with linseed oil. To 100 parts of it five parts of a saturated solution of camphor in oil of rosemary are then added. A very dilute solution of benzole is used for polishing off Thb Laplander's sledge has no runners, but, like himself, is covered witli reindeer skin, and is in shape something like a canoe. Harnessed to this sledge, the reindeer starts off with air most the rapidity of a steam engine, going fifteen or twenty miles an hour. Tli'j reindeer is not only the Laplander's, horse, but his cow, and, during the time that it gives milk, he is freezing large quantities of it, to lie used when no more is to be obtained. Then he breaks off a piece, warms it out, an'l has again a good article of milk. The deer is also his food, large herds of thera being kept in some parte of the country. From its skin the Laplander makes the roof and floor of his houses his bod, his shoes and stockings, his clothes and cords and strings for his bow. Without this animal the Lat lander would be in a deplorable condition. There are now twelve manufactories of artificial teeth that produce erarr year 10,000,000 tieth.oronetoeve'iy rive persons in the United States. Half this number are made by one firm. The materials used are feldspar, kaolin and rock crystal. The coloring is platinum, titantium and gold. The process, of manufacture is delicate, and has nuny interesting details. In the earlier hia-

Ltory of the art dentists carved the teeth r i- i- ii. - , : i j j

which i ilt:ii cuaiiuiueiri ucuuumcu, Kuta apprentices were often made useful in that way. The amount of gold used annually in filling teeth is $500,000. Leadw'as used from 1773 to 183:1. There are dentists in New York wh o give, or say they give, diamond flllin'rn, anel in Paris they advertise to use diir mond pivots and emerald plugs. Tim country makes dental instrnmenfci ,for the world where dentistry is knomi. An oidiuarv outfit of instruments coats $500. One of the most interesting computations whioh have engaged the attention of scientists is that relating to tlte amount of force imparted to the earth by tho sun's heat. A!cording to some of the French investigations there ia received in one minute enough heat to raise the temperature of five and a half cubic miles of water one degree eoniagrado. Crmparing this with the amount of work done by a given amount of heat, as utilized in a steam engine, it would appear that the heat sent to the eiarih in the sun's rays during the epaew of one minute is equal to the accomplishment of as much work as could be done by 2,000 steam engines of 100-horse power each, working continuously f at tho space of 4,000 years. By far the larger part of ttus heat force, of course, expends itself upon the earth in actual work, only a small portion of it being raeliated into space. Neceasirily tho result thus aecomplished-HSUClii as the maintenance of the temperature of the earth, ocean and atmosphere, t&e stimulating of animal and vegetable life, eto. must be the e piivalent . of tie power retained by our globe, bn a Tajik amount remains unaoewunted for.

ble. valuable trees. At the station

gardens are maintained iu model eoiulition, and chiefly iu fruit, although ornament is equally e-nltivtted. Quito a profit of clear gain is said to 1 e made. Our well-managed American railway's could elo the country good service by adding to the examples, which t icy now set iu architecture and general fciely finish, ail inauguration of tho art of tree culture and gcneval forestry. At first it niif ht be elifiieult to 11 ud e ven one competent heael sufficiently familiar

with the effects of our climate v.pon the j different items of plantation, but such ! a school would soon eduoai o thousands. Tho new style of fewe, consisting cf a ' barbed wire or two, covered by it growth of barberry, prhet or arbor -iitio, forming a low liedge, would seem to bo the j penivis ultra of .Uvmiou line between a railroad and the lands on either side, I but v.-ould require some degree of an-1 nnal care to k cp it evenly in condition. I The '.Hants named are not browsed by . oattlii, not preyed on by insects, grow I

Jfot to be Otsotmngei. At Dalton, Ga., they pointed ort an old dwkey who was to be married that evening, and I took a see.t beside him on the tlepot platform and said: "Uncle Benben, is it true that-yenara to be married to-night?" Yes, sah yes, sah, you's hit it 'xactly right, sah." "Wero vou ever married before?." "WLv, brass your soul; boy, dis M be mv loth wife!" "How long since your last one died ?" " Jiss free weeks nex' week Saturday." "Isn't it pretty sudden, when you have been a widower onlytwo weeks?" "I reckon not, sah. I doesn't set) how I kin help de ole woman any by trablin' round alone." "And they tell we you are over 70

years oltl!" "Yes, sah I'ze risia' of 73." "And vou don't even own a chicken ?" "No, sah." .j And the bride is as badly off as your self?" "Jist saictly sah." "Don't the future look a little dark to you?" "See heah, white nian," replied, the old chip, as he sliel to tho ground anil brushed the dust off his coat-tail , "I doan't like dat sort o' argyment! Ize ole an poo' an doan' know much, lmt I ain't de sort of a mule to take a loth wife widout making all 'rangements to board wid her fodder an gin him my note wheneber anythin' am dne! 'Spew Ize gwine to be slecpin' in fence -cc'ner an' libin on green apples kase my 108 ole woman tuk a noedien to die? Ns sah ! 1 isn't that sort of a mourner! Tm got to that age wear" lee got to be tooketi car' of if I has to mar'y free w'ves to do it." Detroit Free Pr. Synonymous with Synapsis. A grave and dignified dejetor of dfvmilA' Aftor lifninr to t.h-A recitation

of the catechism by a class of children

was asked to make a few remarks fa them. Whereupon he arose and said; "1 desire, my young friends, to e prose my unqualified approbation of this exercise. I regard tho catechisux aa the most-admirable epitome erf religio-as lie

lief extant." The superintendent pulled his sleeve, anel asked him to explain the word epitome, whioh lie elucidated as follows : "By epitome, children, I mean that it. it is synonymous with synopsis !" Congregationallst. Handsome and costly buttons are a grei.t feature of walking drosses and traveling costumes, and, aa they can be ti'ar.siorml from one dress to anotheir,

they are really not extravagant purchases in the end. Tortoise-shell buttons with crests or monograms in gold, enameled buttons in Manresque or Florentine styles, aro effective, an llook well on bottle-green , Havane, or iirriecolore! dresses. Wooden and horn buttons aro also wo?n, and small round French gold buttons "grelota" with rough surfaces, are pletitifullv nsed on bodices, cuffs aud pockets. Jot mosaic buttons, with monoijrams inlaid in jet on colored grountls and a jet border, aro tlioiouguly elegnt.