Bloomington Progress, Volume 6, Number 36, Bloomington, Monroe County, 1 January 1873 — Page 1
Heaven's Fallen Sister. In the appended pleasant sketch of the cotmtry jnrytnaa felicitation hitcsclf upon his liberation from leral duty mid prospeot of scca being upon the old farm pg'iin. the render will reoogniie the peculiar eonius of a writer whrpo previous "Farm Ballads" are north this addition. The linca are from ttao Detroit Tribunt. rnd xprcu. with appropriate simplicity, the leflniog and beneficent feeline which mast always come over good hearts abroad at thought of returning to what Dickens so beautifully eall "Ueavcn's Fallen Sister Home :"J SOIX' HOXB TO-DAT. My hnmnen on the jury's done the qaibblin' all is through I've watered the lawyers, right and left, and give my verdict true ; I (tail o long unto my chair, I thought I would grow in; Ana if I do not know myself, they'll get me there ag 'in. But now the court's adjourned for good, and I have get my pay ; I in loose at laet, and, thank the Lord, I'm goia' home to-day. I've somehow felt uneasy, like, since first day I come down ; It is an awkward game to play the gentler? an in tows; And this 'ere Sunday suit of mine, on Sunday rightly gets. But when I wear the stuff a week, it somehow gait and frets; I d rather wear my homespun tig of pepper, salt, and gray 111 have it on in half a jiff, when I get home today. I have no doubt my wife looked out, as well as anyone As woll aa any woman could to see that things was done: For toough Mclinda, when I'm there, won't set her foot out doors. She's i very careful, when I'm gone, to tend to all the chores. But nothing prospers half so well when I go on to stay. And I will put tilings into shape when I get home to-day. The morning that I came away we had a little boat; I coolly took my hat and left, before the show was out. For what i said was naught whereat she ought to take offense ; And she was always quick at words, and ready to commence. But then sac's first one to give up when she has had her say, And she will meet me with a kits when I go home to-day.
My lit :le boy- IH give 'em leave to match hin. if
tneyeaa: It' fun to see him strut about, and try to bo a man 1
The gamest, chewiest little chap you'd ever want to seel And then they laugh beoause I think the ohild resembles me. The tittle rogue i he goes for me like robbers for their prey ; He'll tum my pockets inside out when I get home
ro-aaj.
My little girl I can't oontrive how it should haoDen thus
That God could Dick that sweet bouqnet and fling it down Ions!
My wife, she says that han'some face will some
aaymaiceastir; And then I laugh, because she thinks the child resembles her.
She'll meet me half way down the hill, and kiss me, any way, And light my heart np with her smiles when I go
nume to-uay I
If there's .a heaven upon the earth, a fellow knows it when
He ' been away from home a week, and then gets back again. If there's a beaven above the errth, there often, 1 11 be biund.
Some homesick fellow meets his folks jnd hugs 'em all around. But let my oreed be right or wronv, or be it as it may, 3fv heaven is just ahead of me t'm goin' home
re-nay I ty M. v.rltton A Poetical Curiosity.
The following lines, copied from an exchange, are susceptible of two meanings. A hachalnr
friend reads the first and third, and second and fourth lines together, and aeetns tn find an infor.
ns.l an tisfartion in reading them thus, from some
cause or o nr: J The man must lead a happy life Who is directed by his wife; who's tree from matrimonial chains, Is sore to suffer for his pains. Adam could find no peace. Until be saw a woman's face; When Eve was given for a mate, Adam was in a happy state. In all the female heart appear Truth, darling of a heart sincere; Hypocrisy, deceit and priie. A e'er known io woman to reside. What tongue is able to nnfold The wi rid in woman we behold? 1 he falsehood that in woman dwell 'Is almost iraperccDtible. Fooled be tie foolish man, I say. Who will n )t yield to woman's sway, who chances from bi siog!ene?s. Is sure of perfect blessedness.
.Advancement of the Xiooia,! Interests of Monroe County.
A. Republican Paper, IDe voted to the
EfiWliheirL I)., 1835. BLOOM INGTON, INDIANA, WEDNESDA Y, JANUARY 1, 1873.
Sew Si3ries.-VOL.VI.--NO. 36.
We dislike dunning: wo dislike to be we dislike to dan anybooy; heneoear feotew mast not imagine that we take a datigfctta evedudng In our columns the following- jasiwiy-; , from an irate quill-driver ad a aaea(eUi fcM- J fellow's "Hiawatha:"
'That's mean," blubbered Tom.
"Three upon one! Yer ought to be ashamed of yerselves, yer ought. Give
me a hand up, one ot yer. The cry again arose: "Who divides you ?" f.nd the first stout man added,
THE WORLD OF SUMBERS. If a bad boy could have been a possibility in such a model village as Hayling ton, Tommy Spratt would have been that boy ; but, as it was, overawed by the vicar, tha vicar's wife, the vicar's three strong-minded daughters, the schoolmaster, the schoolmistress, and the six pupil teachers, the natural wickedness of his disposition only displayed itself in an intense hatred of study, especially of that division of the " three R's" known as arithmetic. " I hats fingers, 1 do ; I wish they was blowed," soliloquized that hardened youth of ten as one arithmetic afternoon he set off for school. As support for the outer man during the fatiguing journey he carried in his right hand a sodden piece of gingerbread, while with
the other he restrained by a string a half-penny air-ball, colored orange, deitinea to beguile the tedious hours. Tommy Spratt left his home with no other intention than that of going straight to school; but Tommy Spratt was mortal, and one hot, dusty lane led to the school-room, where & grimy slate and scrapy pencil awaitea him, while the other meandered through green fields, he did not even hesitate, but turned at once into the shauy paths of temptation. He' cast himself on the grass and prepared to take an invigorating taste of the delicious though crumbly refreshment he had provided, having first carefully secured bis air ball to the leathern belt, which, fastened by a brazen buckle in the shape of an uncoiled dragon, gathered his Holland blouse into graceful folds. Now, whether Master Tommy's dereliction from the paths of virtue rendered him no longer amenable to the laws of gravity, or whether the air-ball was endowed with supernatural powers, it is impossible to say ; all that this veracious chronicle can tell is, that instead of Tommy keeping the miniature balloon down on earth, it, like Mr. Dryden's Timotheus, " Bailed a mortt I to tbe skies."
" Hullo 1" he cried in alarm ; " I don't like this. Let me go." Bat by degrees he grew accustomed to tbe sensation, and rather enjoyed, it than otherwise; it was so pleasanf; it soothed him to slumber a slumber frm which he was aroused by a violent concussion of hh head against a corner curbstone. How long he lay in a state of Bemiinsensibility he never knew ; but at lost he struggled and sat upright, finding himself, the air-ball still attached to his belt, in a crowd of odd-looking creatures. They all of litem varied in size, but they were as a rule below the stature of human beings, the most remarkable thing about them being that every one, like the sandwich men of London, carried a board on which was inscribed every description of number. When they saw Tom open his eyes, there was one universal question; "Who - divides him ?" " Oh ! please don't," said Tommy, in mortal dread. " I ain't at all good to eat, but this here is," tendering them the remains of the gingerbread, which
had been reduced to a shapeless mass
during the penis ot his tourney.
No one seemed to take any notice of Master Spratt's suggestion, but one stout
old man, bearing the number 441, asked
witn dignity : "Are you even or uneven ?"
Tom scratched his head, unable to re
ply, and a second broke to with : "What's your number?"
" 16," replied Tom, readily, that being
the number in Balaclava cottages, Vic
toria row, where Mrs. Spratt had lately taken up her humble abi de.
" That you ain't," cried an indignant voice: and a short, fussy gentleman
burst from the crowd, and pointed to
the legend 16 inscribed upon nis board "Here, 2.4.81"
In obedience to his call, three num
bers bowed humbly before him, " Chastwu that leilow I"
with some contempt
" 1 must. 2, run ana teicn i. " Fetch him yourself," retorted 2. (i I
don't divide you."
441 cast an anxious glance arouna ;
then, catching sight of 3, he began j
promptly: " 3, depart ana sees ior i, :
when the hurried entrance ot a new j eomer rendered the dispatch of the nies- :
senger unnecessary. I
He was a jaded, harassed boy, wnose i
countenance might have been pretty
but for a certaiu strained look of attention. Hi3 whole body appeared worn
out with fatigue as he feebly gasped. " Where's 5 ? I've been all over the town looking for you, 5," he added, reproachfully, "as the other drew nar.
"The army want you to dibck meir
boots."
5 immediately started off at a rapid
pace, while lb said : " Come, look alive ! help that young
ster out of the gutter."
1 meekly obeyed ; but wnen he caugnt
a better view of Tom s figure, he answered, indignantly :
He hasn't got a number, don't
see why I should wait on him any more
than the others."
"But, my dear 1, murmured 3, in a
tone of cutting contempt, "you know you divide everything."
And so saying the crowd movcci on,
16 having first ordered 2, 4 and S to cut away the air-ball from Tommy's waist.
At any other time Master bpratt
would have bewailed the loss, but thai
moment it passed unnoticed, as he was intent upon his new comp nioti, who inquired of 8 what he was to do with this unnumbered boy, the adjective being uttered with as much contempt aa an inhabitant of this world would throw into the term unlettered. " Take him to the king to be regis
tered," retorted 8, and fl'- w off to answer
a hasty summons from 21.
" What place is this?" asked Tommy,
meekly. " Multiplication lane, and that's Rale of-Three market," returned his com
panion. " But come, now, what is your number?" .
Tommv felt ashamed to confess he
didn't know; he thought he'd like be No. 1.
" Don't you 1" replied the other, mis-
anthropically. "lmi." " Can't there be another 1 ?"
"I wish there could," retorted his
friend. Tommy ventured to ask, " Why ?" " Because it'd d vide the work, but nothing can't divide 1." " But what is all this about division ?' inquired Tom, whose escape from the afternoon lesson had led him into u far wider field of figures. "Why. don't you know that evry
figure may order about those that divide it? They're his slaves. 2, 4, and 8 have to wait on 16, and 16 has to wait on 32, and they all have to wait on 64. Some of them may have many servants, some have but few, but they all have me." There wbb a world of pathos in his tone. "Of course," said Tom, "1 divides everything." " Yes, everything, even 2 and 3; and they're thehardeet masters of all; they've a deal of waiting to do ; but they shift mOBt of it on to me. But here wa are at arithmetical progression." " What's that?" asked Master Spratt. " The king's palace, of course. Stop a moment, though." And 1 drew re
spectfully back, as an elderly gentleman
with a large board, on which was inscribed 482964, stopped up the doorway. " Where are you going, 1, the indivisible?" 1 grew red at tbe taunt; his weak point was his indivisibility. " I am going, O many-figured 482964, to the king, and bear with me the unnumbered boy." 482964 drew back his skirts to let them pass, and the boys hurried on through a long line of eoldiers who, Tommy observed, were all uneven multiples of 5. On his requesting an explanation of this, 1 said :
" Thev re the army ; all the 5 s are
soldiers, and all the 7's are sailors, end
where the two meet, as in 34 or 105,
they serve as marines on. alternate days." "Oh!" said Tommy, and the matter dropped. They passed on through the outer courts into an inner chambe-, where a large and merry party were assembled. In one corner a group of princesses, the very lowest of whom was at least a mil
lion, were playing at " buzz," with such rapidity and precision that Toramy's head swam with the effort of following them. In another portion of the room
little princess (whose number termi
nated in five noughts, such being the
royal prerogative) was doing her sums by means of her father's subjects, who
stood on one another's heads, and
whirled in and out in a manner incomprehensible to ordinary mortals, accustomed to tbe comparatively tame use of slate and pencil.
the king reclined upon a cuch, dedi
cating a new novel, entitled " uomic
Sections," to four secretaries at once.
"Whence comes tbw numberless
creature? And 1, too! 1, how dareat thou intrude within the groves of arith
metical progression ?"
" O thou of many numbers :" an
swered 1, prostrating himself, " 1 have
brought hither this boy, who has de
scended on this earth by a strange con
veyance, hitherto unknown, in order that thou, O most divisible, shouldst be
stow on him a number and a place in
the royal register."
The king frowned, the secretaries fol
lowed suit, and the unhappy 1 sank
beneath the glowing storm of their eyes. " What number shall we give him ?' said the king, pensively. " Fetch hither
ine register."
A small detachment ol subjects carried in with difficulty 8,900 volumes, and the four secretaries set to work with a will. After looking for some hours, one of the secretaries, with a low bow, an nounced all were occupied that the last number used was 89,999,999, and that therefore the new-comer must be
90,000,000. The king for one moment foamed at the mouth ; then, recovering h k Hpeech, flew at the secretary (71032), and, tearing off hi number, cried : "The traitor has dared to propose that this stranger, this indivisible boy, shall henceforth becorno one of the royal family one of the nearest to our own person 1" Every one booted 71032, who hid be.
for dinner?
hoy? old are " you are as
hind his fellow secretaries to cficnpe the popular storm. " No," continued the prince, " some o'hvr plan must he thought of. Whoever bring", before to-morrow at noon, an unoccupied number, not over 89,999,999, for this boy, shall have a nought added to his name." The people shouted and withdrew : but Tommy, who had never before looked on royalty, lingered behind to stare open-mouthed at the gorgeous rooms and grand company. The kinc continued his dictation,
never observing the absence of 72032 ; so every 4th chapter of the novel was
miss.ng ; but this, ot course, oniy maue it the more interesting.
Tommv s curiosity soon got toe better
of his manners, and he interrupted them
with.
What did you have
what's your name? and you?" ; "
" isoy, said tne prince,
yet unnumbered."
" Well, come now, that ain't my lauu,
you know," argued Tommy.
Tne King had never Been it in hub light before, and his face grew milder and more gentle, so Tommy dared to add,
" What s your name, or number I " I," said the king, with pride, " I am
the Innumerable Nought."
" Whatever is that ?" thought tommy;
but he didn't ask, only went on to himself, " Nought into nought, nought re
mains: multiply by nought, and tnen
divide by nought, and th& answer is
nought." But he soon became confused and gave it up. " You do not seem to understand." And so sayiny, the king unwound from his waiet a white satin scarf of prodigious length, on which was embroidered in gold thread an endless succession of noughts thus, 00000000, etc. Tom looked at him with awe. " What divides you?" ho asked, repeating the current phrase, and acting up to the spirit of that proverb which advises vou what course to pursue when
you find yourself in the tity of the seven bills. " Everyt' ing I" was the proud reply ; on which Tommy resumed his former calculations, and relapsed into a temporary state of hopeless imbecility. No. 1, and Tommy both passed a restless and feverish night ; but ere they left for Arithmetical Progression in the morning, the mind of No. 1 was made up. lie would gain the promised nought; and being thus promoted to 10 (while the original of that number was degraded to his humble position), he
Current Items. ISostox was v .titled at six billions Viefore the fire. Paris, Ky., has a toan who sheds his toe nails every year. ('me too is to have a grand Crystal Palace, 200 by 600 feet. Wool in Colorado is wortli eighteen cents a pound. Go West. San Francisco ban a new paper with the pleasing title of i'iri:ly. There are 250,000 square miles or the earth's surface underlaid with coal. There has not been a conviction for gambling :n New York for twenty-five years. Wnir an awful lonesomo man that solitary Democrat in the Maine Sonate must be.
Norwegians keep the Bmall-pox away
by wearing a bag of sunflower seeds around t he neck. The seventy-three Chinamen who first came to North Adams, Mas-J., have laid up S37.00O above all expenses since they began worii. Holbrook's Arizona expedition has left Denver. It carries a printing press and other instruments of civiiin ition, and proposes to found it new town in the diamond district, Recentlv 7,C00 kangaroo bides were brought to San Francisco, and a delicate, soft leather was manufactured, which is said to have been less brittle and less permeable to water than calfskin. The geyser region of the upper Yellowstone, which Ccngre3 has wisely made sacred to the people, is unquestionably the most astonishing combination of natural wonders and of imposing and beautiful scenery in the world. That portion of the Columbia Vasin lying within the Territory of Washing-
ton is capable 01 prouueing iiuy mimon bushels of wheat-winually, besides a due proportion of other cereals, vegetables, fruits, and an inexhaustible supply ol the finest grans in the world.
The question is asked in 2few York, "Are the bets on Kraut and Greeley off'?'' A rule of the turf is, v. here there is no chance to win then; can be no loss. Bets on Mr. Greeley are in that category. If tho turf regulation holds good in the betting circle, this will prove a nut for them to crack. The Italian opera season came to a close in Nfw York last week, after fotty
prformancea, at ten of which M;?s Kel-
would have no less than threa servants. '. logg was the star and Lucca at the otner
" And which of vou," asked the In
numerable Nought, "has thought of a number to betow on this wuif of the
skies ?"
His majesty piqued himsell on the
poetical turn of his sentence.
"Please sir, 1 have. " Ana I stepped
forward with a little bow and flourish.
" Well," said 0 , eyeing laim doom-
fully, " proceed."
" U, U the mtinate, wnat h ne saoum
be a fraction ?"
" A what ?" asked a chorus of voices. " What in the world of numbers do you mean?" " May I never be divided," said the king, "if I can understand you!" No. 1 began to explain what a fraction was, and suggested that Tommy should be $. " And should not have dared to propose this if it had not been that the wretched boy had hitherto been numberless, and therefore half a loaf would bo better than no bread." The king, ever ready to encourage talent, by his example, and to reward it lavishly with smiles, held out his hand to No. 1, who knelt and humbly kissed it,
" Your ingenuity is aa virtue ever is its own reward. You are no longer the lowest in the kingdom; for Tommy Spratt " (that young gentleman had been careful, in the absence of any number to which he could lay claim, to inform them of his name), " for Tommy Spratt takes his place as the slave of slaveB and divisor of 1. Tommy was about to weep he had actually gone so far as to lift his cuff for the purpose of drying his eyas, when a thought Btruck him. " And Where's I then ? He'd divide
me, nd i, and 1-16, and 1-32, and 1-641 be went on, taking a spiteful delight in seeing the grand blank of incomprehension which overspread the features of his listeners. " And I dare say, if the truth was known, you're some of your fractions yourselves." " Youth," said the king, in a tone oi the utmost severity, " be silent !" " And I have heard," continued Tommy, whose hitherto-despised and hatecl arithmetic began to stand him in good stead, " and I have heard tell of decimals, and if you are innumerable, I believe you're neither more nor less than a circulating decimal yourself I" For one moment only the king wan Btunned by Tommy'B unexplained audacity ; then his great mind rose to the occasion. " He is convicted by hia own mouth of treason," for though 0 wag ignorant of the meaning of the word, he guessed
no compliment was intended by the term. " Take him and onj to the bat
tlements, and cast them into the moat
Once more Tommy found himself tho
center ot a crowd ot numbers, who,
seizing on him and the hapless 1, bound
them together hand and foot, and bore
them in triumph to the battlements They only me with ono slight intt-rrup tion, when a wrathful number, with f cruel laugh, fastened to them the: air
ball, the faithful companion of Tom's perilous voyage to that inhospitable
world.
lhus they proceeded in a procession
to the ramparts, when a large crowd ws.i
assembled to witness their execution. With mny a taunt and jeer they tos
ed them over, but, to the nxtonislunerit of the multitude, after linking slowiy
for some seconds, the air-ball began to
take effect, and, impelled by a favoring
breeze, they a:oso out of reach of their
tormenten. Ere he ciuld utter a word of thank
fulness ol joy at this unexpected deliveronofi, Tommy Spratt found himself ly
ing in the grass under the shady tree
the gingerbread crumbled to nothing in
his hand, ana the air-bail floating serene
ly above him
From that day tommy ftprnti became
a changed boy, remarkable especially
for two good qualities h;s persevering
attention to arithmetic, and his unre
riiitting and tender care of No. 1.
llowta ljrnddr (Jamie Annua!.
'At his Gates," a novel of twc bun
dred and forty pages, by Mrs. Oliphnnt, has just been laid before tho reading public by Scribner, Armstrong cfc Co,, of New York, rnd is well worthy the at. sention of lovers of choice fiction,
thiitv. Tho performances at which
Mi8 Kelloa was the attraction gave a return of $21,620, and I.ucca was worth $128,79:1, making the gro?s receipts 8150,413. This exceeds by nearly $30,000 the sum that Nileson brought to tho treasury ..ast year, The great English chancery suit of Tomley vs. Chase heirs, involving sn estate of 50,000,(KO sterling, or about $2f 0,000,000, which has been in tho London courts for the last thirty years, has been cecided in favor of tho Chase heirs, who number about 100. Mr. B. F. Chase, of Louisville, received intelligence of his cood lorttlne while watching the turning ol the wheel in the late Louisville lottery.
Feriional. Waldo Emersox
is wintering
Ralph in Egypt
Edwin Forrest left a fortune of upward of $1,000,000. Job Jefferson is wintering on his LouiKiana plantation. Jaues T. Fields thinks we read too much and think tco little.
A brother of John G. Saxe, the poet,
is a cattle drover in California,
M. C. MiTCHEti., tho new Senator
from Oregon, is a five millionaire.
Joaquin MiLLEltdrew his first inspira
tion in Plainfiela, Hendricks county. Ind.
Ai l of Sir Walter Scott's race are gone
now but a great granddaughter, a girl of 19.
Forrest's "Idiot Hoy j Cl. Forney, in his " Reminiscences of j Public Men,'"' gives the following interesting sketch of Mr. Forrest : Edwin Forrest was nlways one of us whenever he visited Washington, an.l, as I said in a former number, was the tOHSt and lh ;tar of the night. He gave libpr.vllv to the Union cause, without Ik inn a" Republican. Though he did not unite with us when we sung "John Brown," none could have been more graceful and ready in contributing to the general pleasure, fine dramatic night I "shall never forget Forrest was in royal condition. He came early and stayed late. He teemed prepared to make everybody happy. He neded no solicitation to display his varied Btores of humor and of information. Sketches of i'o.-eigB ravel ,- photographs of Southn:ii rviKer-i, aliko of the master and
tne slave ; his celebrated frencb criticism of Shakespeare ; his imitation of the old clergyman of Charleston, 8. C, who, deaf himself, believed everybody else to be so ; his thrilling account of h'lB meeting with Edmund Kean, at Albany, when FDrret was a boy ; his incidents of Gen. Jackson ; his meeting with Laftvctto at Richmond, in 1825. Few
that hoard htm can ever lorget that
night. .Hut nothing that ho did will be remembered longer than the manner in
which he recited "The Idiot Boy," a production up to that time unknown to everybody in the room except Borrest and myself, and to me only because I heard iiim repeat it seven years before,
when I lived on Eighth street, in the
house lately known as the Waverly.
These lines are so beautiful and unique
that I print them for the benefit of the
readers ot these nasty sicetcnes : TUB IDIOT HOT. It has rleiseJ God to i orm poor Kd A thing of idiot mind, Yet, to the poor unreaVniDff boy, God hud not been unkind. Old Sw.h loved bcr holplo?a ohild, Whom heii'lcisness inado dear; And bo wag et-crythioc to her. Who know no nop or fear. She know his wants, she understood Koch balf-aiticulato call, . For bo was everything to her, And she to him was all. And s for many a year thoy lived. Nor knew a wisb besido: But age at laH on Sarah came, And she fell siok and died. He tried in vain to waken her, lie called her o'er aud 'or; They to'd biui .'he was dd I
The woius to nim no import oori. They closed li-r eyes and shrouded her, VVbile ho etood woad'ri:m by. And when they bore her to the (fare, lie followed silently. Tbey laid bor in the narrow house, luey ?ung tho luu'ral stavo; And when tbo fun'ral train disponed He lingered by tho grave. The rabblo boys that used to jeer Whene'er they saw poo- Ned, Now stood and watched him by the grave. And not a word they sa.id. Tbey came nd want and came again. Till tnsht nt last came on; Yet siiil lis lingered by tho grave iill ever Kni had gonu. And whra he found himself alone lie swift removed the clay. Then rased the coffin up in haste. And lro it swift away. lie bor it to his mother's cot. And liid it on the floor, And wilh tho cagor..css o:'joy tie barred the cottage door. Then ott he took his mother's corse, And placed it in a chair ; And soon ho heaped the hearth, And nude the kindling fire nith care. lie put his mother in her chair. And ii its wonted place, And thin he blew tho fii-o. Whiei shone reflected in ber face. And paasing now. her hand would feel. na men her lace behold; " TTA, mother, do you look eo pale. And why are jou no cold I It had pleased (lod from the poor wretch ltis only Inend to call ; Yet dud wris kind to him. and soon In d Ah restored him all. And wben the neighbors on next morn Had burst the cottage door. Old .Sarin's corpse was in the chair. And Ned's upon the floor.
Foreign Gossip. Thk Mikado of Japan iB 22 years old. Prussia uses American paper for her
bank notes.
Oxford University has a yearly income
of $1,00(1,000.
Sweden, Spain and Japan have adopt
ed our school system.
Four thousand eondalas are in daily
use in the city of Venice.
Onk of King Victor Emanuel's sons
is in the banking business at Naples.
Paris has a shop keeper who pastes
advertisements oi the backs of bank
bills.
A single Parisian publisher has brought
out two hundred varieties of almanacs
for 1S73.
Hans Christian Andersen has been
obliged to abandon his pen on account
ot a failure ot sight.
In Pesth the other day, a youth of
izteen recited tit an exhibition the
Lord's Prayer in twenty-two languages.
Eight billoonists have been decora
ted by President Thiers for " hautes ser
vices'' during the Franco Prussian cam
paign.
A journalist it. Padua 1 as been se
verely hnea tor saying that he never
saw a more repuls ive-looking man than
King victor Emanuel.
The Emporer Francis Joseph, it is
said, is cogitating seriously whether or
not it would be cert tor him to abdicate
his crown in favo r of his brother Henry.
There are 21,50") rag-pickers in Paris,
who gather up evijry night, according to
statistics, 5U,wU baskets full of rags and
thrown away garments and boots.
Amelia B. Edwards, in a recent novel,
talks of her hero "going backwards and forwards between the court-yard and
vinsard like an overseer in a Maua-
chuset.U cotton-field 1 '
Ms. IIollowav, the patent pill poten
tate, is about to build in England at
cost of nearly $500,000an insane asylum;
presumably to show his gratitude to the class from whom most of his fortune
was derived.
The Crown-Priace of Sweden is a very
sickly boy, and the general belief in Stockholm is that, at the death of the
present King of Sweden, Scandinavia
will be united again under the scepter
of j Frederick, now Crown-Prince of Den
mark.
Queen Victoria has a favorite called
S.iarp, a shepherd's dog which plays the
watch dog tor her majesty with tne
most herce jealousy, lie appropriates
his miBtress' chair and keeps it at pleas
ure. If she takes it in his absence he
springs up and makes room for himself
as best he can, vrljen he sleeps with one eye open in virtue of his responsible po
sition. He has . c eat aversion to cats
and strangers, and is the reverse of
another of the Queen's favorites, being
dishonest and addicted to stealing.
there is a policeman ; in Chicago there is one
In Si. Louis
name! m avens named K I.
Osborne P. Anderson, the last Bur-
vivor of the John Brown raid, has just
died at Washington.
The late Samuel N. Pike made his
fortune of ten or twelve million dollars
in h es than twenty years.
Henry M. Sta?'lky, having failed as a
lecturer before a metropolitan audience,
is about to make a raid on the provincial tOWEiS.
The bequest of Mr. Horace Hawes, of
San Francisco, of $1,000,000 to found a
college, has been declared invalid, on
the ground ot tho testator's insanity.
And row comes Lewis H. Nop, an
nouncing bis lttention to mount ine lecUire rostrum and expose that " foreigner and fraud, Henry M. Stanley."
The Fairbanks, scale manufacturers,
borrowed five doi.lars to make their first
scale, and ate now worth $3,000,000. Go and borrotv five dollars, young man.
Father Tom Burke says that the
highest title on rtarth is that of American citizen ; and that next to the cross,
the greatest shadow is that ot ' the
stars and stripes' of free America."
Mrs. L. Virginia Fiiench, a Southern poetess of some reputo in ante-bellum dayf, but who has languished irf obscurity the, part few years, has come to the surface again, and our Southern exchanges teem with her t fl'usions. Miss Kate Barton, a young lady of Philadelphia, who has a penchant for piactical mechanics, has invented an improvement on sewing-machines which
will adapt them to the manufacture of
saila and other heavy goods, something heretofore impot Bible.
Mrs. Auousta M. Rodgers, of Brook
lyn, lias in less than lour years received fetteis patent fiom our Government for as many as four different inventions ; A niotquito canopy, a folding chair, apian for heating e n without fire, and an improvement in spark-arresters (to be applied to locomotives). The first two are also to day protected by the great seal of England. It seems a little odd that many of tbe members of the Greeley family, always noted for strict plaincis and practicability, should biivo evinced such a fond
ness lor sentimuntiil i;lin-lerunp . sa. ( ir-fl-y's daitf! liters art! nrtmed I' a Lilian and Gabriell" Miriam, and bis nieces Paulina Cecilia and Evangeline. Thi-re must have bfn a liberal element of lomance somewhere in the family.
air.
The Best Joke of the Season. New York (Dec. 20) Cor. Chioato Tribune.
A repoi t appeared in a morning paper
to the effect that tne weu-Known actors.
Sothern and W. J. Florence, were to tight a duel. The rumor has been traced to a gigantic practical joke plaved on Philip Lee, a newly arrived young Englishman, husband of Miss Neilson, the actress. Lee was invited tn dinn with Sothern. who promised he
should meet a party of characteristic Americans. Lee accepted and sat down to dinner with Sothern and Neil Bryant,
C.i.rici Connor. Billv Birch. Billy f lor
enm. ntul Nelson Seymour, the last
named five being under assumed names. Their costumes were very peculiar. Thftv proceeded to eat with their fingers.
tilt their lees on the liable, and finally
got into a quarrel, in which immense bowie-knives and Colt's navy revolvers
were hraodished. Sothern gave Ulor-
ence a taock challecge, upon which J Lee fled from the room, though Sothern tried to explain that it was "tho custom of the country." One of the party had Sothern and Florence subpenaed to appear at the Tombs, to-day, which thty did, explaining their j'oke to Justice Dowling, and receiving a discharge on their own recognizince.
Who Wants to Bay i The Fr:e Press tells of a Detroit man who wants to sell a patent pistol cane or a promising Newfoundland pup, he doesn't euro which. He went home the other nij;ht and set his cane, heavily charged, behind tho door, and started in for a little romp with three bright little ones and the sportive pup. They got along well enough until pup spied the canp; and going lor it, started on a promiscuous run around chairs and table legs with it between his teeth. The doting father remembered the fatal effect of a slight pressure on a Bpring, and with rare presence of mind succeeded in throwing tbe children down placing himself on
top of the sideboard before the thing
went oft' The, ball only broke a nun
dred-doilar mirror, and the pup got a few i;,.lit Memtclies in .jumping through
a nlate-fi!ass window. The doctor says
the children will all recover, .udu-anoe.
Facts in Natural History.
The fecundity of the salmon is very
great, the roe ol: a smgle one amount
ing, as 1 have been informed (says vr,
Halliday) by a person who counted it, to about 600,000. The experiment was made in the usu al way, namely, by first weighing and :hen counting a certain
portion, and afterwards weighing tne whole mass. Yet this increase bears no
sort of proportion to the number of pea
in many other ash. The sturgeon pro
duces the greatest number that 1 ever real of, being no less, according to
Leuwenhock, than 150,000 millions an
amount equal to that of all the inhabit
ants of the earth ; the female codfish
gives 9,340,000 ; and the common crab
4,334,000. The porpoise produces only
one, and yet porpoises are more plentiful
than Bturgeons. There seems to ne no
nositive rule in nature upon this sub
ject; such is the extent and variety ot
exceptions, that we are lorcea to ui
necessity of considering every animal
distinctly and individually. What
analogy proves to us, that if the claw of
a crab be torn off another will supply its pls.ee ; that tho polypus may be cut in pieces, and yet the separated part shall
produce a peri'Sct animal ; ana a tnou eand other instances of exception oper atins aeainst the general law of nature
All proves to us that we are to look for certainty to each animal individually,
and that wo shall seek in vain to elicit it from the similitude that one animal
may bear to another.
BROKEN HEARTS.
Oreelej'e (lane HeitlmentKllr ue ScU
ciulflealir CmldtNi. The advances of pathology demoliuh
for us some of the most beautiful illusions of ancient times. The heart, for instance, is degraded from its position as tbe high altar for devotion and affection
to a mere hydraulic machine. The uver
no longer plays its old role in melan-
holy to which it gave the came. It
makes simply some bile and some sugar. The eye, after all, is only a system of lenses and refracting media of different densities, and so on of all the rest. Bat
in the course of still further and more
extendedobservation becameevidenttbe
close connecting links between these organs and the presiding brain, which explains to us the intimate relationship
which exists between them ; expression then still linger! in the eye ; hypochondriasis still has its frequent seat beneath the cartilages of the ribs, and the heart still throbs and palpitates under the various emotions. Bernard has ex plained to us in detail the full significance of the cold and empty heart.
the heart that is light or heavy, the heart that u full to bursting, and last
of all tbe heart that breaks outright.
the great batteries of tbe cereb.al mass
send special lines of innervation to the
heart, and though the communication
between the heart and brain is not so swift being only at the rate of 112 feet
per second as electricity, yet its force
and volume are even more intense, ine
broken heart, then, is no more poetic
fiction, and several instances are recorded where rupture of its strained or more especially diseased fibers has taken place
under powerful mental emotion
It was less in the literal than in the
metaphorical sense, however, that we
have introduced this topic. Death from
a ' ' broken heart" is literally only very
rarely true, ibe lesion ot disappoint-
ment, crushed ambition, or other depressing emotion is far less often car
diac than cerebral. Prof. Take has
Bhowo, in his widely quoted essays up n
the influence of the mind upon tne
body, how the various emotions act
upon the calibre of the blood-vessels to
induce inflammatory procsses in the different tissues of the body, nowhere
more frequently or more calamitously than upon the delicate structure of the
brain.
Psychical causes beget insanity in its
various forms according to aU observa
tion in two-thirds at least of all the
cases, and uriesinger manes a special
point of the tact thatamong all tbe psychical causes it is only those which con
cern the emotions that terminate in this
wav. Purely intellectual over-exertion.
no mutter how exhausting, unless it be
connected with affection of the passions
or emotions, or with somatic excesses, in
duces insanity only in the very rarest cases. Of these emotional disturbances,
too. it is only those which are of a de-
Dressme character that act in this way.
It is questionable whether the pleasurable emotions, however great their ex
cess, have ever contributed a case to the
insane asylum. Jrinel was so well assured
of this fact that bis first question always
waf , " Have yon suffered vexation, grief
or disappointment and seldom was
this question anBwerea in tne negative.
The case ot Horace ureeley is a striK-
ing example in confirmation of these
statements. The purely intellectual ex
ercises of his daily avocation, though
Should you ask as why tbi!fair. Why these said oomplsinta sad MB
Aurmurs ioaa nooaiaoiinqBeuw Who hTe read the paper weeklr. Saad what the? have never oxii for. Read with pleanira and with jaroSst, Bead of church affnin and prospects. Bead of newa beta atma and foreign. . Bead the enayi and tha poena, Fpjl of wisdom and iuatntetioni: Bead the table and the markets, ' OarafullreorreotDdweekb touli yon aak na why thU downjoav e taoald annrer, we ilweld teil yon. From the printer, from the mailer, From the kind old paper maker. From the landlord, from the earner. From the man who taxes ) , With a (tamo from Cnele Samael Uncle Sam the rowdies oalt him ; From them all there comes a rnrans. Meaaace kind, bat firmly pok en. " Please to pay na what yon owe na. Would yon lift a burden from nT Weald yon drive a (pester from yon T Would joa teste pjeaaant lumber! Wonld you have a quiet eoMelenee I Wonld yo rend paper PMd fori Bend na money send us money. Bead tbe money that yon own as 1
The Distiller. ! . tnWretfnmpemiB.lta9We.l. . . Tbe Distiller, he God pity hto soul! H sat mnmcBnc anoient prayers; He now forsot how many a bijWl Of liquid-Are in honheadi whole He mi sold aa soluble wares I Fine linen and purple and llk wore he ; He went tn church, devout t ween: But hit racaed brother down the lane , , Bold cheaper drink at letaor sain. And wear, abroad the brand and stu Tha rich one hdes with livery. Wall might he mumble a vaerant ereea. : Knowing the Judge that Judges all Mifht soon reenire him, deed i by ee. aS cleanse . breatf at eaefa ?. And he shivered and shook as bad eg.l And he was only half my yean; , , BuVtne rum behid .old had turned te eM At the price of orphnnll' aod widows teara, Then he rota and staggered hemewarae, -
With an icy enuineas rouau am .
I thought of the teara by widows abed.
And they called m long ere I coulc And then, bnt onoe. tod pity hunt i -
loui
Wealth or the West. The fifteen States washed by the Ohio, Mississippi and Missouri give the following aggregate of wealth and power in
Congress, by tne cenaus ui ioi
Arlta '9m . I Hin'. In 1iii)itint ......... lowrt Ktiti't KoilHcky It- 11 i . I .' it ' i . . .... Mi!iit t SIHsif-ilH'i Mlsinnri N'l'm-lii Illiu Tent"'-:'. ... Wi Ht Virtiim , WlWulmhi.. Tutal
Popuiatiiiii. .''! . ;Mi,P)l .. I i,i'.u.:93 MI..'1'.i'J ... 1 .321 "H 75.'JU 'J.Tf 1-27 2 1.721. " I22.M JRV-fll l,S,5:ll tl'.n'f !,O.V4,I;0 16,1111, CIS
Bf embers in
Wealth. LoDgress.
nU9i.mi
S,I2I.WUT i,2ia.ijo..ns 7l7.fi 5,7.10 1HS.7H2,II1 MI13I7..W2 2ai,jo0.v.io aw. iv?, MS 1 Xni.V-2 .S'."7 IW,277,'J . O'.SKI IM.237,721 itmiUMtii $ioi4,i;o.i
Importance of Punctuation.
Punctuation not only serves to make an author's meaning plain, but often
saves it from being entirely miscon
ceived. There are many cases in which
a change of points completely alters the
sentiment.
An English statesman once took ad
vantage of this fact, to free himseit
from an embarrassing position. Having charged an officer of government with dishonesty, he was required by Parlia
ment, under a heavy penalty, puonciy to retract the accusation in the House of Commons. At the appointed time he appeared with a written recantation,
which ha reau aioua as iouows : i Bitid he was dishonest, it is true ; and I am sorry lor it." This was satisfactory ; but what wail the surprise of Parliament, tho following day, to see the retraotion printed in the papers thus : " I said he wes dishonest ; it is true, and I am sorry ior it." By a simple transposition of the comma and semicolon, the
ingenious slanderer repres-nted himself
to the country, not, only as navmgmaae no recantation, but even as having re
iterated the charge in the very face of
i'arliame at, French Theory of Fatal Maladies. According to M. Alphonse de Candolle, when a fatal malady has seriously affected the younger portion of a population, the succeeding generation, descended from persons who escaped the disease, or were but little affected by it, will be found less liable to attack, as an ordinary effect of the law of descent, this continuing to be the case from gen
eration to generation. This, therefore, constitutes one cause of the weakening of epidemics, and may serve to explain the reason why a disease is most injurious when it h rst attacks any people, and why it subsequently becomes rarer or lees daugerous, as has frequently been observed. After the lapse of several fenerations, however, a population mod
erately allecttid by disease approaches the condition, of one which has never
had it, and increased intensity may then ensue.
Augustus B. Merrimos, the newly
elected Senator from North Carolina, is a native of Buncombe county, in the western prt of that 8tate.
often protracted to excess, and sometimes tojdoubt to temporary exhaustion, left his brain clear and unaffected after a proper period of repose. But he was
painfully susceptible to disturbance ot his emotional nature. He is said to have become, taouzh usually placid in the ex
treme, quite violent, even abusive when a wrong page of proof was handed in for coirection, We are told of his profound depression and despondency after the battle of Bull Bun. Mr. Greeley had arrived at that period of life, further, at which the blood vessels themselves begin to show pathological changes. The rigidity of the tabes incident to age would favor the development of morbid processes, or, more strictly speaking, would prevent the vessels from counteracting the sudden changes in the heart's action, induced by mental emotional nature in age. And lastly, the whole career of Horace Greeley was a record of a simple life ; simple in the noble sense of a preservation of the child-like spirit. By hh own confession he was always the creature of impulse, but by universal concession, never of intrigue. He was vulnerable thus in a double sense, by temperament and by age. Wo have the testimony of the most skillful experts in the land and it is a great satisfaction, always, to know that such service has been secured that the immadiate cause of death was an in
flammation of the meninges and the brain. The acute mania hypersasthesia,
photophobia,'etc., would clearly indicnte such affection. The stupor, stertorous
rARniratinn and dilated p'jntls consecu
tive, indicated as clearly tdso that fatal
exudation bad qnioKiy cupervenea.Cincinnati Clinic.
Singular and Impressive.
In the Golden Aae Theodore Tilton
relates the following of Ilia interviews with Horace Greeley : " About three weeks ago. Mr. Greeley
said to us (clasping our hand and hold-
n g it for the last tune), my dear menu., for thirty days and nights I have net I slept ; I shall never sleep again ; I pray for death.' From that touching interview we retired as if stunned by a prescience of the coming calamity ; and on narrating the incident to a friend, we remarked. 1 It would not be strange if Mr.
Greeley did not live three weeks.' The
prediction was all too saaiy vennea ; the crumbling column fell within tiuA time. " We have no sympathy with fatalism,
and yet we are free to say that Mr. Gree- . rf . .. , . j t .. i j
ley s destiny was on mm, sou a wumi not escape it There were inward causes that gnawed their way outward to this effect. He had premonitions of it, not only a few weeks, but many months ag a
During some idle noun in rroou)n earlv in the camnaign. he said to us,
with a voice of saddnesa and a tone of
unwonted pathos, ' I have bnt one great
ambition, and that is not the Presidency, but death.' Later in the summer (or,
perhaps, early in the fall), when some
friends were talking with him at a
merry supper table, and when one of
us eailv asked ' how he enjoyed belae
praised by one political party and damned by tho other,' h simply nnBwertd !tlwt 'nothing would gratify
him so much at to receive from some
celestial messenger an authoritative as
surance that he mud, die the next morn
ing.' About tbe middle of October, in a
Sunday evening conversation with him, the same oremonitorv meditations on
death and immortality broke forth from
his lips,"
Yarletie. .vi Not a kiss A rich, handsome widow. Whmt is it right to take any one ia?
When it rains. i
" Transports!)"' for life The man :
who marries happiiy.
Thk whole number of dead lottom lmt, ,
year was $4,241,374.
Tvvi m.T. far ntAernnoe The man who .
filled his month with hot baked apple. '
Www in the insHe of a thing unin-.
telligible? Because we can't make it oat.'
Ax ill-natured, pussy man is like a .
tallow candle. HealwyaapatterswBa he is pat oat. " '
Widows" mourning caps are now caned -
"caps of liberty" Complimentary .Jo the dear departed, . ' .
"Kxr 'em alive, boy, keep m.
alive," said an old physician
young brother practitioner. men pay no biila." Thkrb, now," cried little Beanie, the other day, rummaging a drawer in the Tboreau, "grandpa has gone to heaven, without his spectacles." Ii is with diseas;of the mind as with1 those of the body ; we are half dead before we understand our disorder, and half cured when we do. Maw are frequently Eke tea. The real strength and goodness is not properly drawn out of them until they have been a short time in hot watr. Is nm a letter here for Mikj Howe V asked a lady at the Springfield postofnee. There is no letter here for anybody's cow," waa the gruff reply. A Wistzrx paper chronicles the banging of a horse thief thus: u Hr. Jim Clem ton, equina abductor, of Minnesota, was lately the victim of necktie sociable." Wksdku, Phillips' famous lecture on The Lost Arts" has been captured at a lonpgrnphicpor.d
pubusneu in iuu m h vne. fui boose pet is that so generally admired, sought after ami valued, yet more abused, trampled upon, kicked about, looked down upon, and whippeo. than any other T A ear-pet. A max lately made a wager that
had seen a horse going at nu gfew speed and a dog sitting on bi taft, an strange as it may seem, he won, bat the
do wns Sltwne vi- m uru wu.
Thome marine boots, lately invented
in Paris, by which the wearer eoaia as easily walk upon water as land, havo l wiA Tbn were not a suocees.
except where submarine observatiok in
the object, sot, aiufcougn we uw r in-litft to haur on the surface
of the water by them in an inverted position.
n Kna.nl th vessels of the Canard
line, says the London Oovi Journal, the cbur-h service is teed every Sunday morning. The muster roll of the crew
is called over, and tney menu
A gentleman saict to one or nwawi "Are you obliged to attend public serv
ice ?" " Not exactly obliged, bit, repuea
Jack : we should lose oar grog u w
didn't."
"I sat, ain't you going to send that
boy to school?" "So, air. rt went one day and corned 'ome sayin it waa wrong to get drank. D'you think I'll have my p'rental feelin's outraged, alia
lithe sweet inn ence ome broken by swells a teaohin' of 5im sach things. Come, an't you goin' to stand a pintf Josh Bxixnraa, in his directions "Hew to pick oat a good boss," aays : Good hosaea are skaiae, and good men, that deal in enny kind of hosaea, aekareer. An honest man is the noblest work tor God. This famui saying ww.written t4 Save anguish of heart, by the late exander Pope, just after bury g a good family hoes." A young officer of the British House of Commons wore a tremendous pair of
"mustaches," on which one Ot tne members said : " My dear fellow, now that the war is over, why don't you put your mustaches on tie peace establishment ? Had you not better put your tongue on the civil list?" waa the prompt and happy retort. '
A raw days since a seedy nuison'applied to a wealthy citiaen for help, and received the small sum of twelsMx. .
The giver remarked as he JnwnoeajMm
the pittance, " lajce it, you are w?vuk our ears are always open to the dis
tressed." " That may be," replied sue
the recipient, " but never betore in my life have I seen so small an opening for such large ear." f
A Steam Wac. , . The Hamilton (Ontario) 3Ugnqk
says : un mm lnuraaay, str.
W. Dick's wagon steamed into the
from Venice, blinking in s train Of two wagons, each holding about etitW-Bve
bushels of corn. Keturmng, tne sseaswr
too, tnree nunareu waa bu, dw coal, the weight of which exceeded eleven tons. As the steamer iteeif Jfp down the beam at two tone, ''-Mia ft crowd rushed down to the auspehalorn bridge to aee what effect, if aaythas compact weight of thirteejtoM wojsM have on it. The bridge stood tffc aertw test well. For road, field, MrieoltareV and a hundred other nsefnl puipqsM, Mr. Dick'a wagon is aa handy. as poofc!et in a shirt -
Louis NarouoM and Januly will riait
u in the spring.