Banner Graphic, Volume 22, Number 102, Greencastle, Putnam County, 2 January 1992 — Page 4

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THE BANNERGRAPHIC January 2,1992

Dear Abby: Pet’s tragic death warns us of overlooked danger in homes

DEAR ABBY: I am writing in the hope that my letter will serve as a warning to pet owners, as well as parents of young children, about a hazard of which my husband and I were unaware until our personal tragedy. We had a collie mix, “Lady,” who was in great health and very playful. She was very special to us. About a month ago, my husband came home from work to find Lady dead on our kitchen floor! I had left an empty breakfast cereal box in a paper sack near the back door, intending to take it outside to the garbage the next morning. While I slept, Lady found the cereal box, stuck her nose in it, and suffocated from the plastic liner bag, which was sucked up around her nose! Neither of us realized the potential danger of the cereal box. We thought the linings were still made of wax paper-type material and glued tightly to the inside of the box. Apparently we were mistaken. The bag was made of a plastic material and not attached to the box at all. Abby, this could pose a serious threat to other pets oryoungchildren. We kept our cereal boxes on a low,

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Abigail Van Buren

unlocked shelf. We have since moved them out of reach, and I would urge others to do the same, and to keep empty cereal boxes and any plastic away from the reach of young children and pets. Our loss was devastating, and we still feel the pain. My husband and I would greatly appreciate it if you would print this letter to warn others of this household hazard. IRENE AND CLIFF SMITH, LARAMIE, WYO. DEAR MR. AND MRS. SMITH: My condolences on the loss of your beloved pet. It may comfort you to know that Lady did not

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die in vain; her misfortune gives me the opportunity to alert others to the potential hazard of discarded cereal boxes. * ♦ ♦ DEAR ABBY: I am one of those people who thought your frequent advice to get counseling was a copout, but now that I am in recovery for bulimia, I hold a new respect for counseling. I thought I was going in for some medical miracle that would cure me. Instead, I received intense group therapy. If someone had told me that my disease had psychological roots, I never would have sought help. I was one of those people who thought counseling was admitting to being a failure. God works in mysterious ways. Bulimia an abnormal, constant craving for food isn’t always what gets people into treatment, but it was my cue. My life is not perfect because I sought counseling, but I have a new outlook. I am getting out of my abusive marriage and seeking support groups. Abby, I wish everyone could get counseling when they need it, with-

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The Double Takes of Age While you are making the bed or running the vacuum cleaner some job that leaves your mind free to roam do you ever think: “Let’s see, I am now older than my mother was when I used to see her doing this just after she had moved into her retirement apartment, and she wouldn’t let me help. I wonder if her back was aching like this?” Or, in reverse, do you think: “I don’t feel any different doing this than I did when I was 30. I suppose it is dumb to be doing this because no guest is coming to use the bedroom or inspect the carpet. However, it doesn’t bother me because I’ve got it into a routine and it doesn’t hurt at all and it satisfies my sense of orderliness. I wonder whether mother wasn’t bothered, either.” Do you ever look at an old black-and-white snapshot of yourself playing in the yard and think: “Was that really me? How in the world did I ever get from that to this?” Do you view a recent picture of yourself taken at an event where you received an award, made a speech, or shook hands with a current dignitary and think: “Wow, do I look old! I felt like I was making a good impression, but now do you suppose I impressed anybody? Do you hesitate to take an action or express a thought because “they” might think it “not becoming” for older people yet you feel just as entitled to it as any younger person would be? Do you refrain from volunteering for a job that “they” might

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out the stigma so many people attach to it. IN RECOVERY IN VIRGINIA DEAR IN RECOVERY: Hooray for you. Ajnd thanks for those kind words in defense of my frequent advice to get counseling. And lest anyone think that getting counseling is easy it’s not; it requires a good hard look DEAR ABBY: My daughter was recently married in a formal ceremony and reception to which my sister, her husband and two teenage children were invited. Relations are strained between my daughter and my sister; however, I have a good rapport with my sister’s children. My sister and her family arrived an hour after the ceremony. Their gift to the bride and groom written in my sister’s handwriting was a card stating that a donation had been made in the newlyweds’ name to the American Heart Association! My daughter suffers from chronic heart problems. My sister knows that this is a very sensitive issue and that my daughter prefers not to discuss it.

MARK SMITH D.D.S. Family Dentistry 653-5653

think is “too much for you” even though you know that you have more energy than ever and you need an outlet for it? These are typical of what one might call the “double takes” of growing older the indwelt changes of self-analysis and appraisal that have so much to do with our acceptance of the life process and our adjustment to life’s later phases. It does no good to resolve not to think in “double take” because we are all incapable of shutting self-contemplation off. When you feel such a thought coming on, you can divert it temporarily by switching on the television on picking up a book. But, sooner or later, the thought will return to haunt you some more. I have found the best technique for me to be that of blending components of the “double take” into a composite. I try to make it into a flash of the marvel of life. And the appreciation of individual personality. And the conviction that there must be a reason for being here and a role for being this age at this particular time. I use the word “flash” advisedly. I do not sustain an abiding new philosophy of life that keeps me from having such “double take” thoughts ever again. The therapy requires repeated application. It helps, however, to develop, gradually, a renewed sense of worth and of distinctive purpose. To the extent possible, we should couch the aging thought here” with the wonderment and happiness of a first time visitor to Paris or of a new arrival in the chief executive’s suite.

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I feel that my sister’s gift was inappropriate, spiteful and inconsiderate. I would like to know what you think. Sign me ... STUNNED DEAR STUNNED: I agree a donation to the American Heart Association in the name of the newlyweds was an unusual wedding gift. But giving your sister the benefit of the doubt, perhaps she thought that contributing the money to heart research would benefit your daughter more in the long run than a toaster or a waffle iron. I would be more upset about their arriving an hour late for the ceremony. Now that is tacky! * * * DEAR ABBY: I have been with my boyfriend for three years sometimes I think it’s been three years too long. He never lets me go anywhere without him. He bosses me around and acts more like a father than a boyfriend. When we get into a fight, he calls me terrible names and throws

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my past in my face. He recently cheated on me with his “ex,” whom he keeps going back to just to spite me. He is very moody. Sometimes he gets violent and hits me. He won’t let me out of his sight. I never have an opportunity to get away from him for a while never mind fcrever. What should I do? Please don’t print my name. He’d kill me. SICK OF HIS ABUSE DEAR SICK: Find “Women’s Services” in your telephone book or call information for the number of a women’s shelter. You are being held hostage to a selfish, abusive tyrant. If you think your life might be in danger if your name is published, it is essential that you get away. If you have to call the police in order to get out of the house, call them but don’t stay there another day. There is nothing anyone nan do “for” you only you can save yourself. Please, take my advice. And let me hear from you again. I care.