Banner Graphic, Volume 16, Number 212, Greencastle, Putnam County, 16 April 1986 — Page 5

Dear Abby : Stored-up resentment from arguments causes problems with intimate relations

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I fight and argue all the time, but we never settle anything. He clams up because he’s afraid if he really got mad, he will blow up, so he tells me to drop the subject and he won’t let me talk anymore. When I drop it, a lot of resentment builds up, and the next time we fight, I bring up the last one which wasn’t settled. The big problem is that this causes problems in the bedroom. I, for one, cannot get intimate and loving when things are bothering me from our last fight. I have tried to tell him this, but he says stored-up resentment has nothing to do with intimate relations. Don’t say, “Go to a counselor.” We have been to two—one for three years. It hasn’t helped. We can’t get a divorce either, as we are bound by God’s word. Besides, we have no grounds for one. We have one child. What should we do? RESENTMENT IN OKLAHOMA

Heloise Milk jug ideal for storing sugar DEAR HELOISE: I have a favorite hint I use that you may like to try. I wash and dry a one-gallon milk jug with a screw-on cap and store sugar in it. The jug is easy to fill with a funnel and the plastic keeps out the bugs and moisture. When you want to measure, all you have to do is pour the sugar into a measuring cup without spooning or scooping (that means no spills). Ruth Cleveland * * * I love this hint and am very glad yon reminded us how useful these jugs are. Heloise STICKY SHORTENING u Dear Heloise: 1 love to bake but when it came to measuring the shortening, I’d get frustrated. The shortening would stick to the measuring cup and it took a lot of scraping to get it all out. I’ve discovered that if I used a small amount of vegetable oil (about 3 drops) in the measuring cup and greased it before adding the shortening, I could just plop the shortening out of the cup without it sticking. The vegetable oil doesn’t change the recipe I’m using plus the measuring cup is a lot easier to wash! Cindy Edwards FRUIT POP Dear Heloise: Now that the weather is warming I can share an idea that my mother thought of a long time ago. Purchase a can of fruit cocktail, small disposable bathroom cups and frozen ice cream sticks. Pour the fruit cocktail into the cups, put in the sticks and freeze. When they are done you just pull off the cup (which does not stick) and eat. My mother keeps a supply ready for all the kids that visit. I grew up on them and I still love them. Sue Wathen

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DEAR RESENTMENT: Your husband is wrong. Stored-up resentment has everything to do with intimate relations. If two counselors have failed to explain this, you need a third, because that is the root of your problem. And in order to resolve it, it’s imperative that a professional counselor teach you how to settle an argument and let go of the

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resentment, so it doesn’t surface in the bedroom. * * * DEAR ABBY: As a licensed hairstylist, I have been asked the same two questions at least once a day for the last 25 years, so maybe if you answer them in your column, people will quit asking. Question No. 1: “What do you charge for just a little trim?” First of all, the client pays for the barber’s expertise—not for the amount of hair that is cut off and swept up. Also, “a little trim” usually requires some styling, shaping, thinning and cutting, so the price is the same as a regular haircut. Question No. 2: “How much do you charge for children?” For some strange reason, most people seem to think that a child’s haircut should cost half as much as an adult’s. Actually it should cost twice as much, because it takes twice as long to give a child a proper haircut, and

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it’s twice as much work. (I personally feel as though I’ve wrestled 10 rounds with a gorilla after cutting a child’s hair.) Please print this. I’d like to frame it and hang it in my shop. JACQUES THE CLIPPER DEAR ABBY: I read you daily in Korea and need some motherly advice. I am a young woman who became engaged five months ago. The problem is that I am in the military in Korea and my fiance (also in the military) is stationed far away. Being so far from my fiance, I needed someone to spend some time with, so I met this other guy (also in the military, but he is stationed here), and we eventually fell in love. The truth is, I love them both and don’t want to hurt either one. They both want to marry me. I am in a very confused state. Please tell me what to do. ONE MAN TOO MANY

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DEAR TOO MANY: Since you can’t decide which man to marry, don’t marry either one. If you were really in love with your fiance, you would have been too emotionally committed to him to have “needed” another guy to spend time with. Infatuation? Yes, ma’am. Love? No, sir! ♦ * * DEAR ABBY: One of the best and least expensive gifts a parent can give a child who is leaving home is a book of recipes of the meals he or she grew up with. Buy a bound notebook with blank pages, and record each recipe as you prepared it—not necessarily as it was originally in the cookbook. Indicate your substitutions, flavorings and the cut of meat used. If you added something to a box cake mix, write it in—plus the brand name of the mix.

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April 16,1966, the Putnam County Banner Graphic

Few restaurants can duplicate the flavor of home cooking, and when away from home, that familiar taste is comforting. My children have appreciated their books, arid I’m sure others would, too. CARING MOTHER IN BELLEVUE, WASH. DEAR CARING MOTHER: Nothin’ says lovin’ Like something from the oven, And no one said it better Than you did in a letter. (Do you hate to write letters because you don’t know what to. say? Thankyou notes, sympathy letters, congratulations, how to decline and accept invitations and hoW to write an interesting letter are included in Abby’s booklet, _ '‘How to Write Letters for All Occa-: sions.” Send your natne and address clearly printed with a check or money order for $2.50 and a long, stamped (39 cents) self-addressed envelope to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 38923, Hollywood, Calif. 90038.)

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