Rensselaer Republican, Volume 22, Number 19, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 9 January 1890 — Josh Billings’ Philosophy. [ARTICLE]

Josh Billings’ Philosophy.

Ni'W York Weekly,—-—— I Wimmin bi natur are all coquets, i mil men by natur are all braggarts. | I will say this for man—l don’t kno ov enny enterprize he haz ever undertaken yet which had Tor its desighn die general interest ov humanity, biit A-liat haz succeeded. If I am charitable, if I am komplas■ut, if I am grateful, if I am honest, if lam virtewous—what ov it?—l am simply doing mi duty. lam satisfied that thare ain’t no sich thing az eloquent words. Eloquence lays in manner, and I hav even seen an eloquent neck-tie. Style iz everything for a sinner, and ind a leetle ov it won’t hurt even a saint. Gravity, az a general thing, iz either the wizdum ov a phool or the cunling ov a raskall. A man with a few brains iz. like a lorg with one flea on him—dredful meazy. I hav alwus notised wHen~"an' individual hain’t got the ability tew critinze judiciously, he dams indiskrimilately. What do yu bet Fame iz? I bet it ,s climeing a greased pole tew win a jerse ov 10 dollars and spileing a suit )v clothes worth fifteen. New York iz a fast place. If a man julls out on a fhuneral procession, jist lz likely az likely az not the whole procession. Led. bi tisa iMtarse boss, will strike a 2-40 bait and leave him tew sake their dust. iz like hunger—it- obeys io law but its appetight. There iz no medicine like a good oke; it iz a silver-coated pill that frolcks and phisicks on the rpn. Ihe man who never makes enny jlunders will never rise in the esteem Irv the world abuv the reputashun ov a good guide-board. i I don’t want enny better proof ov a good hod-terrier than tew hear anothir say, “He iz a cussid phool, and lon’t understand hiz bizziness.' Poverty and pitches are mere imagi n itive distinkshuns. The man who kan jat hiz bread and be happy is certainy richer than he who kan’t eat unless ,t is spred with butter.