Evening Republican, Volume 21, Number 268, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 27 November 1917 — Page 3

Little Problems of Married Life

By WILLIAM GEORGE JORDAN

(OopyiUM WHEN THE FAMILY INTERFERES. Many a good matrimonial ship, with Its sunlit cargo of happiness and hop<>, has been wrecked on the rocks of family Interference. If it were customary to. erect tombstones to the memory of dead loves the cause of the death of marital happiness in thousands of homes might be given in the chiselled epitaph: “Died From an Overdose of the Interference of Relativesl” ■ If there be one place in the world where the justice of “home rule” should be unquestioned, that place is •—the home. Marriage makes the couple a new firm, an independent partnership, not a branch house under the management of a parent company. It was interference and bad advice that spoiled the first marriage, started the first quarrel, and broke up the first home in the world in those early days, long, long ago when Eden was the only spot on earth that had even a name. This was the first lesson to man and now after sixty centuries some people have not learned it yet. Husband and wife must work out their own problems in their own way.

TTie problems of two must be solved by two. They need only kindness, sympathy, a reserve of help in .emergencies and a free open field all the time. There is no justification for gossip, criticism, complaint, condemnation and Incendiary >meddllng by members of the family. ’ These things should be put on the list of unnecessary luxuries In the home and gently, firmly, definitely cut off. * We may sometimes be privileged to help others to live their lives; it is arrogant assumption for us to attempt to live their lives for them. We are told that we should not bury our talents, but there is one talent —that of special aptness for impertinent management of the affairs of others —that we should carefully wrap in a napkin and on some dark night, quietly bury forever. It is in the first years of married life that foreign interference is most trying and dangerous and it is this very time when it is most conspicuous and dominant. No need for the family to remind the wife that the husband is not eighteen karat, that he will never make a fortune, that they feflr greatly —and then let their fear expand into a long catalogue of detail that fades away into'the dim perspective of the unspoken. After the goods are bought and sent home and cannot be returned, what is the use of 'discouraging the purchaser?

The wife may think she has the finest little home in the world; everything seems beautiful to her and she has eveh pride in the array of cooking utensils, dazzling and new in aluminum and tin, and the dishes ranged carefully on the pantry shelves. She often stands at the door and smiles as she looks in—to get the general effect at a glance. When the family makes a tour of inspection, her indiscreet sister may say, “Oh, what a mite of a kitchen. You can only wash the small dishes like cups and saucers in a little box like this.” It had never seemed small to her, none of the rooms seemed small; they held so much love and hope and happiness that the size did not count; but now her heart sinks, and the joy note seems gone and a cloud comes over it all and she begins to compare her home with that of some friend and It suffers. She thinks of all the other deficiencies pointed out by the visiting inspectors. She tries to be brave so she will be smiling when he comes home but it is hard to keep back the tears. i When her husband’s sister tells her In confidence, “just to put you on your guard so you will know how to handle him,” what a temper' he has, dt comes to her as a surprise and a grief, for it does not seem possible he could ever speak a cross word. • When she hears, still in confidence, about the “girl he was so much in love with two years ago and was going to marry,” she feels twinges of vague jealousy and she wants to be alone. He too may Suffer from the early stages of family interference if his mother begins her maternal vivisection of his wife. She doubts if she will prove a good housekeeper, but '“of course we have to hope for the best.” Soon the family may begin a campaign of education on how she should manage him. She hears with irritation the words: “You surely won’t let him smoke in the parlor! You know you can never get the odor out of the curtains and that cartridge paper drinks in smoke like blotting paper absorbs ink.” If she weakly assents they increase the dose; if she rebels they think she is overconfident and setting her right becomes more than a pleasure’—it is a duty. "Never permit him to be five minutes late at dinner. Just assert your Independence” is the next shot from this peace-congress in the interests of domestic war. The husband may return home in the evening and find the wife nervous, Irritable, brimful of suggested new arrangements in the home and repairs that he might make In his manners and disposition. She does not tell him who has then there all afternoon ( but he knows it as absolutely from the traces left in her conversation, as the hunter •reads the passing of a bear from tracks tn the snow. ; f •

She may later tell him <rf a change to in one of the rooms and she unwisely names the member of her family who made the motion; or he to sustain a position may repeat some criticism his mother* made. They are planting seeds of discord in each other’s minds, unconsciously stimulating prejudice and opposition and intensifying family interference: As the ’days go on critical appropriation from the family committee >n Interference may grow harder and harder to bear. It is depressing to live under the microscope of criticism, like an Impaled Insect There is often condemnation where, if the full, facts were known, there would be only praise. There is altogether too much judging in the world, too much idle intrusive censorship of the acts of others. It Is uncomfortable to hear constantly that “you ought to do this” or “you should certainly do that.” It is so easy to solve the conundrums of another’s life. The reason that advice is usually of little value is that it is not based on a perfect knowledge of the infinity of detail that makes up a condition. Perfect advice should fit the situation as a glove fits the hand; most advice does not get much nearer than a boxing glove in the matter of fitting. That the family interference may arise from genuine interest does not excuse it nor even explain it; where love is greatest it should be most tender and most considerate. There are times when some tiny flame of misunderstanding arises between husband and wife that a breath of kindly interpretation might blow into nothing! ness, but, talked over by the family and canvassed and debated and intensified, grows into a conflagration. Under the gossip, often unthinking of its evil influence, a tiny molehill of difficulty may become an almost impassable Rocky Mountain range. Oil is a good thing to pour on troubled waters but it is poor to put out a fire. A difficulty that originally concerned only a duet now has been made to affect the whole family choir. It is easier for two people to reach loving harmony than to distribute it among a dozen. ■

Sometimes the Interference of families becomes even more active and aggressive than this, and because of a fancied grievance or a genuine opposition it actually comes between husband and wife and by harsh criticism or condemnation seeks to incite strife and discord between them. Here instant loyalty of the one to the other should assert Itself and refuse to listen to the voice. In an instinctive spirit of protection there should be a calm, dignified protest against the recital of what If unessential should never be spoken, and if of serious import should be heard only in the presence of the one thus charged With what he or shq should^have the opportunity of denying or disproving instantly, before the weeds of suspicion have time to root themselves in the heart of» the other. In many homes, there is some one in the family, on either side, whose visits bring a trail of sadness, sorrow, protest, bitter opposition, an unnecessary and unwarrantable intrusion of a discordant element tending to worry, irritate arid perhaps even to bring into inharmony husband and wife. In this delicate situation It often seems a problem how best to act. The health and happiness of the home must be considered as of first and greatest importance. If it be but a trivial inconvenience or jar |o the domestic serenity, the wisdom of tolerance for a time should be manifested.

If It be, of more serious menace, impossible to master by patient bearing, the privilege of hospitality should not be strained beyond the bearing point. There is a moment when sacrifice ceases to be a virtue and degenerates into cowardice, vice. There may be an Injustice to oneself and to one near and dear that this unwelcome guesthood outrages. It is not true hospitality to mask the heart’s continued protest under a smile, to submit unnecessarily to an atmosphere that saps one’s mental and moral vitality, that dulls energy, deadens one’s finer sensibility, and kills the joy of life, leaving one worried, weak, worn and weary, unable to meet as one should the questions of every-day living. , If we constantly suffer injustice that we can remove, we are slaves to the individuality of another and cowards to our own. The rankling irritation of the unjust bearing, if continued, will permeate our whole nature, like an emotional poison. We should therefore act calmly, wisely, with kindness and dignity, and frankly recognize conditions and with perfect fairness take the gentlest action that will remedy them. Better a short, decisive battle fought to a finish than a constant series of petty squabbles and skirmishes. We cannot be just to others If we are unjust to ourselves. If one lives ever pnder the scepter, of the decision of others, it is not free life—it is slavery. One cunnot keep emotion constantly corked up; some time that cork will come out —perhaps inopportunely. True lote, true companionship, true living, can reign In the home only as there is in the home an atmosphere of liberty, of individual freedom in its highest sense. If there be interference from outside forces, whether they be from the family or others, that tends to blight the joy, rest, peace and calm of the home, that threatens to bring in even the thin edge, ( oX the wedge of discord between husband and wife —that interference should be silenced forever. The home should be a sanctuary of refuge, not a battle ground of discord; It should be a place where the angel of love (.ever swings the censer of peace, and calm, and happiness.

THE EVENING REPUBLICAN, RENSSELAER. IND.

Where War Does Not Intrude

OVER one secluded nook of the turbulent Levant still broods the Tibetan calm which has enveloped it for more than a thousand years. It is the promontory of Athos, the easternmost of the three peninsulas extending into the Aegean sea from the coast of Macedonia like the gnarled fingers of an aged priest whose hand is raised in benediction. There, only 40 miles from Saloniki, th*e allied war base, dwells a monastic community of some 7,000 souls under a form of government which has outlasted the Saracens, the Byzantines, Amd bids fair to survive the Sublime Porte. Mount Athos, the glistening pyramid of marble in which the 40-mile peninsula terminates, is visible at sunset from the Plains of Troy across the sea and shimmers into view from the slopes of Mount Olympus. While airplanes were circling above the ruins of Helen’s city and the remote founder of the superdreadnaught, Queen Elizabeth, told of shells that spanned the peninsula of Gallipoli, the monks behind their marble barrier intoned the chants that were old when Columbus embarked on his great adventure and paced in brocaded and cloth-of-gold vestments which were grooved by sandaled feet when the Byzantine empire flourished. The law of ages seems to forbid war’s trespass on * these sacred precincts, and Jhe monastic statutes deny admittance to any female creature, be it woman, hen or cow, says a writer in the New York Tribune. The un-

written law . generally has been' observed, perhaps by geographical accident or perhaps because of the adaptable, conciliatory nature of the kindly folk who claim the Sacred Mount for their own. But despite the strict regulations of the Most Blessed Assembly of the Holy Mount and the shock of horror which assails the most humble of the brethren at sight of the gentler sex, women have penetrated where war has feared to tread. Founded in Third Century. Although the remote history of the colony melts into misty legend, it is generally believed that the first religious settlements on the peninsula were made by refugees from the persecutions of the Iconoclasts early in the eighth century. The legends of the monks attribute them to the age of Constantine, in the third and fourth centuries. Reference to the existence of the cluster of religious brotherhoods is made in historical documents of the ninth century. The claims of the monastery of Laura, founded about the middle of the tenth century by St. Athanasius, appear to be well founded and .tojnake it, for historical purposes, the inost ancient of the monasteries. There is reason to believe that Vatopethl is of about equal antiquity. According to the monastic accounts of Vatopethi’s founding, it is the most venerable of all the twenty, having been established by Theodosius In recognition of the providential rescue of his son from drowning on the coast near by. The. most recent of the monasteries, Stavronikitu, was founded in 1545. There are twenty of them. They are situated on the wooded and mountainous slopes of a peninsula which is forty miles in length and from „four ] to seven miles in width. The total | population of the peninsula is abtout I 7,000. Three thousand of the inhabitants are . monks and the rest are lay brothers. Besides the twenty monasteries ' i , ■ .

Monastery of Hieropotamus.

Quadrangle of St. Pantaleimon Monastery.

there are villages or settlements, inhabited mostly by artisans employed within the abbeys. Only precipitous, winding mule paths afford means of communication. As many races are represented in the population as might be exp_ected_in that cosmopolitan - section of the Levant. The monks themselves are, for the most part, Greeks, but the monastery of Rossikon is a stronghold of the Russians, and in others are Serbs and Bulgars. Roumanians are also fairly numerous. Own All Goods in Common. All these dwell in harmony despite the schisms which the great war has made in the outside world. As monks they are divided into two schools, both of which adhere to the canon of jSt. Basil. One division has the idiorhythmic form or government, which allows considerable latitude to the individual, although ail goods are owned in common. Monasteries of this order are governed by two or three wardens, who are elected annually by the elders. In the cenobite monasteries church regulations are much more rigid, and the hegumen, elected for life, has absolute control over > the property and inmates. Hoarded behind massive locks in the turreled abbeys are thousands of beautiful illuminated parchmehts of great antiquity. This treasure, though impressive, is a mere remnant of what once existed. Some of the dogpments have been taken to Paris, some to Moscow, some fell into the hands of early collectors, some were fired in cartridges at the Greeks during the

•war of independence, some have been mutilated by chance visitors and some, according to authentic reports, were torn into strips by their very guardians to be twisted onto fish hooks and -used as bait.

Many Beautiful Relics Preserved.

Less perishable and equally beautiful relics still remain, most of them in an extraordinary state of preservation. The buildings themselves, some of which cover as much as four acres, are wonderful examples of Byzantine architecture. There are choice specimens of ancient and cunning mosaic work. There are mural decorations attributed to Byzantine artists so ancient that their work has outlived their fame and their very names are legendary. The Phiate or Font of Laura in front of the monastery church with the marble panels was built in 1060. The brick work was probably done in the sixteenth or seventeenth century. In the Monastery of Xiripotamo, which, according to monastic tradition, was established by the Empress Pulcheria in the fifth century, but more probably was.* founded 900 years later, is a communion cup, carved from solid jade? which bears an inscription of the traditional founder and-is believed by many to be a true relic of that earlier t|me. Vatopethl contains many venerated and quaint treasures, some of them of great beauty. In the » qhurch is a throne inlaid with ivory and nearby a chased silver jeon of Andronicus H. Palaeologus. Au ancient case of solid gold in which are receptacles for the blood of saints contains a fragment of the True Cross, which is set in gold and studded with large stones of pale hue. Most valued and most valuable from a material point of yiiftv is the girdle of. the* Virgin Mary, which now, for safe keeping, is in three parts, each of them kept in a separate vault of the abbey.

NEW BAGS PRETTY

Attractive Ones Can Be Made at Home at Small Cost Velvet, and Satin Are Popular Materials as Throughout the World of Dress. Bags are more alluring than ever Ibis year. . -- The best of them are expensive trifles, but there are others that are attractive without being extravagantly high-priced, and as is always the case when drawstring bags are In order, many a woman can make a ing bag for herself without spending much money. Velvet and fur and satin are the popular materials here as throughout the world of dress, with beautiful brocades and other fancy silks to help in the good work. For the omnipresent knitting bag of course all sorts of materials are used, from raffia to gold brocade; but the smaller handbag is less catholic and less spectacular, though often exceedingly original. The bead bag has lost none of its vogue and appears in delightful shapes, colorings and designs, one tone colorings being perhaps first choice this season. A fiandsbme brocade silk with The design outlined In beads makes an effective bag and one that calls for no great skill or labor on the part of the maker. Black or dark blue brocade, outlined in gold, silver or stele, is effective, and color schemes to match any costume are easily worked out. A rather long narrow drawstring shape with bead tassels across the" bottom to match the beading of the brocade is good-ldoking for this type of bag. Beads are used relieve fur, too, and very clever things are done With this combination. One model in seal is flat, rather small, mounted on dull gold and lias a butterfly embroidered in tiny gold beads on its side. A muff bag of fur with turnedback flaps at the ends has each flap finished by a bead tassel and a half

Bags of Fur, Velvet and Beads.

moon of solid beading just below the mounting on each side of the bag. There are many fur bags also without the beading, the short hair, supple furs, such as seal and mole, being especially liked for this purpose, while the long-haired furs are used for trimming bags of velvet, silk and cloth.

NEW HANGER FOR SWEATERS

Special Holder, Made From Embrold- . ery Ring, Will Preaerve Shape of Garments. Have you ever hung your pet sweater away on a coat hanger for a couple of days,? If you have, you have probably found it stretched most distressingly when you took it down again. So. then, have you hung it, ever so carefully, up on a hook? Yes? Then, of course, you have found a most annoying little bump in the wool where it hung. So then, perhaps, you have decided to keep your sweaters in a bureau drawer —and you have caught them on the edge of the drawer and pulled a thread. Well, here is a suggestion to make the keeping of your sweaters truly easy. Have a special sweater holder. This special holder is no more than a huge embroidery ring, of the sort that is used for the handles and tops of knitting bags. Attach a ribbon or tape to the ring at each end, and by means of this ribbon hang it on a hook. Then pull the sweater through the ring. Several may be placed on the same ring without any trouble. The ring, to b’e best fitted for its work, should be wound with satin ribbon. The quality need not be expensive, but the shiny surface of the satin ribbon makes it easier to pull the sweaters through the ring and there is no possibility of tearing by splinters from the surface of the wood when it is covered in this way.

When Hair Is Dry.

While oily hair is not at all beautiful. it is usually much healthier and thicker than dry, harsh hair. If your glory crown has started in to be dry and wispy, it would be a wise move to take it fn hand right away and call for an immediate reforpi. Twenty-four hours before the shampoo rub pure olive oil into the scalp. You can have no idea how much help this will give, and what lovely fluffy gloss it will impart -to the hair after the shampoo. Have th/s cleansing with egg instead of soap. V J

KIMONO MADE FOR COMFORT.

Kimono means comfort, but not all of these luxurious robes and coats, made in these days of extreme style, are carrying out the meaning of the word. Some of the garments are built so that they make for discomfort, tugging, tight and ill-fitting. A kimono should be loose-fitting, and the charming affair pictured here is represent*tive of what a kimono should be. It is made In a very delicate shade of pale crepe, bound at the neck and bottom with a metal cord of red, gold and silver. At intervals translucent white beads are piaced in the edging.

SIMPLICITY IN NEW STYLES

This Feature Is Particularly Notable in Street Dresses—Afternoon Frocks In Two Materials. Trimness and simplicity are particularly notable in street dresses, says the Dry Goods Economist. Although afternoon dresses may be cut on similar lines, there is a decided tendency toward the use of two materials, silk crepe and satin, crepe and serge, etc., and there Is a great amount of drapery and plaits in evidence. Richness of effect is added to many dresses by the use of a satin body lining under crepe, in contrasting or self color., Loose panels and plaited panels, in varied lengths, predominate in street dresses and there is q preponderance of the turnover collar extending to the waistline. I The regulation ropnd or square collar also continues to be popular. A now coat-dress shows a standing collar, the dress fastening on the side to the waistline.

THIS PINCUSHION IS USEFUL

It Also Makes a Dainty Decoration te Be Suspended From the Dress- , _ . , 4 • Ing Table. The pincushion in the sketch makes a dainty decoration suspended from the dressing table, and will be found useful, for it holds pins and needles of all sizes, and also has a ring for safety pins. Make a little bag of white sateen and fill it with sawdust or bran. Use a piece of material thqt measures 6 by 5 inches. Now cover this bag with a remnant of prefjy silk; a piece of ribbon will do

A Novel pincushion.

equally well, providing it is wide enough. _ f Find the exact center df this pad, then take a prettily colored narrow ribbon, and bind it round the center as in sketch. Secure this band «et the back of the pad with a stitch. t Now, with a piece of the same robbon 6 inches in length, make a loop to hang the cushion up by. Sew to the top of the pad; at the bottom of the pad sew another similar loop, but first of all thread on to it a bone ring. The dainty article is now finished. It only remains to stick pins of assorted sizes on the pad and to fasten several safety pins on the bone ring.